Why The Intel Community Suck At Their Job (Strictly Satire Folks)

in james •  11 months ago

Have you ever wondered lately why your smartphone pauses, you hear background voices, laughing, talk while recording, or your mobile phone starts to flash? Well my friend that is your intel agency on your smartphone. How to make a mockery out of them... is quite easy. So here it goes. For some reason and for quite some-time these amateurs have been a part of my daily life. Why well lets speak about Cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin right! So what is there job? Dry intel, fake, pretence, and bs. That's it pure utterly bs. So my experiences with these "Big brother is stalking you in cyber space" Is a game of wits or manipulation. So here is how I deal with them in a funny way!

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  1. Make out how you are a spy and that your a 007 agent of say the James Bong oopps James Bond agency MI5 or was it MI6?

  2. Leave a digital print of google key words like bomb, kill, intel, or lets say hacking. That definitely gets there attention.

  3. Keep your own privacy say little or next to nothing, as they probrably wonder your up to no good.

  4. Up all hours of the day and night definitely gets an alertive attention.

  5. Keeping fit or training in some sort of martial arts keeps them on the agile and posting your martial art posts or pictures on Fakebook definitely draws them in hehehe.

  6. And last but least that little crackle and pause in the background while your talking..... on your smartphone that is your local intel up to no good.... looking for a story to pin on you.

So the moral of my story is this.... if you ever do get the unfamilliar sounds, see the flashes, or your keypad pauses for unknown reasons? That is your local intel on your smartphone day in and day out figuring you out for the next move. And recording every single detailed meta data you do online.
Hey its a free world you should hope so!, enjoy the spot light Ive been it it a long time now...
My job is to send them on a carousel of fun and games in a digital cloak and dagger game of thrones.

Please upvote me for humour and the best satire on Steemit, thank you.

Oohhh and I really do advise you to stick a little blutak on the top right camera lense of your smartphone for privacy keeping.

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