How to Survive EASY in Jails (U.S. Jails/Harder Ones NOT Daycare jails)

This is a simplistic way to get through a Jail-Sentence without having to rely on much but your own self and knowledge

You got 3 to 5 types of Trustee block Areas in mostly ALL U.S. Jails
-Kitchen Block (Split into A.M. Shift and P.M. Shift)
-Floors (otherwise known as Cleaners)
-Laundry
--Librarians (if given to trustee's and not C.O's or Deputies)
(on a different more secured block you have Work Force)

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IF you dont have anyone giving you comissary or your tired of sitting on
your ass. Join the Trustee unit. You get better perks, dont have to eat Bologna
Sandwiches for Lunch and you shave time off your sentence. People can joke
a lil more on these blocks and C.O's/Deps will be more laid back then other
blocks.
-IF you dont get comissary or you just want to eat better join trustee and
you WONT starve, especially if you in the Kitchen (viewed best in my opinion)

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What to buy off comissary (MOST valued amungst other inmates)
----NEED ORDER A CUP (you can only have ONE)
---TOP of the list is Honeybuns or Cherry Danishes
--Ramen packs for Swoles
--Insta Coffees, Sugar Substitute, and Swiss Miss (dont bother buying creamer
everyone uses swiss miss in place of the crappy creamer, taste better too)

everything else youll have to choose if you want to throw down on Swoles with
people, if you want snacks stock up on Protein forteified stuff
(there will be a section below about Swoles)

NEXT is HYGIENE!
---VO5 Shampoo
--Freshscent Anti Perspirant Soap (the blue one, works BEST for doing your OWN
laundry in your Cells Sink) do your whites laundry and your Gym Clothes so your
Stuff isnt washed with other inmates Skid Mark Boxers shit stains)
--Dial Roll On Deodorant
--if you dont get comissary dont buy toothpaste cause you can order the indigent
pack and get a free pack of toothpaste and new brush (OTHERWISE get the Colgate)

your can get cocoa butter and lotion but it aint worth Starving or NOT having
clothes when its cold at night

Last BUT NOT LEAST! is Clothing
you dont want to be freeballin in jail
-Freeballin - to have NOTHING on underneath your Jumper
---White Tee (if your typically fit a Large get a 2XL, if you fit a XL ask around if
you should get a 3XL or 2XL so it dont shrink on you insanely!!!)
---Boxers (BEST to get 2XL or 3XL so you can wear them like basketball shorts under
your Jumper!!!) get either 2 pair 1 to fit and one to ball to the showers in or just
ball round your room in!!)
--Tube Socks (BUT!!! its usually best to see if someone got a spare pair you can trade
for) you really only need one, wash em in the sink every night they take 1 hour Dry time
off the Air Suction Vent in your Cell
---1 Thermal Top (Make SURE ITS LIKE THE WHITE TEE GET THE 2 Sizes Up whatever your
normal size is, youll thank me when you see that jont shrink Larges turn into Smalls)

{Dry time for washing your whites in the shower or in your sink}
White Tee - 3 hours off Suction Vent / Air Dry 5-7hours
Socks - 1 hour off Suction Vent / Air Dry 2-3hours
Boxers - 2 hours off Suction Vent / Air Dry 5-7hours
Thermal - 3 hours off Suction Vent / Air Dry 6-8hours

SHOWER BEFORE BED ALWAYS TO PRESERVE YOUR SHEETS, your have to wash your sheets in the
early morning and theyll be ready Air Drying by 7p.m. when your allowed to sleep under
your covers

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Air Vent Reistate
-SOME nights its cold as FUCK
take a request form and measure the size of the small square slots then rip the paper to
fit the slots like an adjusting slidable reistate (WARNING take the paper slide out before
room check otherwise you CAN get a write up) 3 write ups and you go to the Hole...

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HOW to turn the Bendy Pens into non bendable pens
-Take another Request form fold it and lick to make a clean cut to the size of the pen
-wet the paper and roll it around the pen like you roll weed off the counter
-stick in your air vent to dry
-once dry itll harden
-get the sticker label off of your Vo5 bottle or Dial Stick and slowly remove it and
reuse it to wrap and permanently seal your newly created writing utensil
(otherwise your fingers will go numb writing letters and drawings

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THE HUSTLE

-if you know anyone in there that makes Mash (alcohol) one of the best things to take
others comissaries is trade them Yeast out the Kitchen if your a Trustee (BE CAREFUL
YOULL LOSE YOUR JOB IF YOUR CAUGHT SMUGGLING)

--IF you get no comissary and have to order the Indigent Hygiene Pack/ Writing Pack
-Trade envelopes They go for almost a dollar off comissary so trade 1 for 2 ramens OR
3 Coffees and 5 sugars
--Trade the extra toothbrushes as well!!!

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HOW TO MAKE A HAIR TIE
-get a latex glove a rip off the band end of it (TADAAA)
-Tie 3 Together to make a Hairband (SOME Deps HATE that C.O's dont care)

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Swoles- A creation off of comissary thatll help you not starve through the night (USUALLY
inmates make this jont in groups to all help each other out i did atleast)
Consists of
Multiple Ramen Packs for a group OR 1 pack if just you
Cheetos( any of the three types, Jalapenos are the best)
Doritos Sweet Spicy Chili Type
Big Haus Honey Sausage
Dill Pickle (if you dont like pickles dont have yours made with one BUT YOU NEED the juice to
make the sauce)
Squeeze Cheese 2-5 packs for Groups or just 1 for yourself
Long Grain Rice or Refried Dried Beans
Tortilla Wraps**
THIS IMAGE BELOW IS A SWOLE. THEY DID NOT HAVE TORTILLA WRAPS SO THEY SAVED AND MADE THEM ON BOLOGNA SANDWICHES. -NOT A FAN FAVORITE-
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