[Italent Round 4] ... and Mermaid Monday #6

Drawing, drawing, drawing ... I always wanted to draw. If my mother asked me what I wanted to do on my free Wednesday afternoon, then it was drawing. My grandfather and grandmother lived half an hour away and every two weeks we went to visit the whole family on Sunday. I never liked it so much, I preferred to stay at home to draw. My cousins who were usually there to visit when we came teased me with my glasses, and that hurt. The whole week I was bullied at school, and once every two weeks also on Sunday. Because my parents obviously did not like it that I would stay home alone at such a young age, I had to come along, but a compromise was made. I was allowed to pack a bag every time with what I wanted to take with me. And so it happened that every week on Sunday morning I very seriously packed my bag with essentials.

And that was a very precise job that really could not be done quickly. It was really very important to have exactly that one fine pencil, and that kneaded eraser also had to be used. And imagine that you forgot a sharpener, or that you did not have your ruler with you. Not one, but at least three drawing blocks went into the bag, and yes also that beautiful box with 72 colored pencils and also that beautiful box with 72 felt-tip pens ... and oh, those character templates also had to be included. It turned out that the biggest bag we found was completely loaded with cartoon items. And I put that once in Grandpa and grandma very seriously at the big table down. That was made free and Grandpa always made sure that my drink was safely put down there. "The little artist goes to work," he always said. Then first go with me to Bruno, the Malinois he was waiting for me and I really had to cuddle with him.

When I got older the love of drawing continued to exist and I spent a lot of hours drawing and later painting. I always loved it, just in my own world and just create something out of nothing!

Until the time came that my father first got lung cancer and a year and a half later died. Immediately after his death, my mother became even sicker than she was before, and the last year and a half after my father's death, until the death of my mother, she almost had to live like a greenhouse. And during that period, from the illness of my father, until the death of my mother, I took care of them. I was ready for them 24 hours a day, giving them everything they needed, and what they wanted. I was a nurse, caretaker, social worker, social worker, but above all I also remained a daughter. Only that last role, very important to me, was often forgotten. And of course I did not have time to sit down and draw. And if I had time, I certainly did not have the peace.

After the death of my mother, I once tried to pick up drawing and painting again. But unfortunately. Nothing came ... And I was even 'scared' of such an empty white sheet. I have put all my belongings away, but never thrown them away. I couldn't.

And now through the Mermaid Monday Contest of @nymia.aryn I got so inspired ... that I still wanted to try again. And what am I happy, and incredibly proud of myself, (which is a very special feeling after years of feeling yourself inferior), I did it again. The first steps to be able to draw again and maybe even to paint again!

My contribution to the Mermaid Monday Contest ... and because I'm so proud of myself I also put this drawing with watercolor pencils in the Italent Round 4 contest.