Miserably Ever After I: Perverted Dysfunction

This screenshot demotivational poster is highly Anti-Miroku, Anti-Sango, but Pro-MirSan in a very perverse way by the means of me begrudgingly rooting for these two lowly dunderheads to end up together as opposed to the constant crap going on with...ugh...InuKag. Despite all the troubles and flaws these two have such as Miroku's more than questionable fidelity and Sango's tendencies to smack him straight back to her, I can say that they deserve each other because these two have proven themselves to be crappy friends to Inuyasha.

Boy, do I feel like opening a can of worms when it comes to this couple consisting of a perverted monk with a questionable history and a power that was cool yet cursed until Naraku was destroyed and he no longer had that power and an easily-manipulated demon exterminator who may be strong on the outside but is really lame on the inside. I am not going to hold back on my visceral contempt for both Miroku and Sango, as they deserve all of my wrath, ire, and fury to the point where I curse them for being such horrid friends to Inuyasha and constantly siding with Kagome.

It says something that these two never fully empathized with how much heartache Inuyasha went through due to losing Kikyou to the hands of Naraku and all of the guilt he had to undergo because as a dog hanyou he was sworn to protect her but felt like he failed her in doing so. Something else that kept grinding my gears about Miroku and Sango is that these two are not any better than Inuyasha, despite Miroku being 18 years old, Sango being 16 years old, and Inuyasha being 17 years old at the time all of this malarkey regarding his loss and the whole hunt against Naraku happened. Sure, both Miroku and Sango are mortals and Inuyasha is a hanyou, but for two people specializing in yokai knowledge, they certainly failed to grasp what makes Inuyasha tick on the inside and only observed him superficially.

It also says something that I never cared for them ever since I was a young boy and I still do not care for them as an adult because of how worthless they ended up being in the long run.

Sure, Miroku's cursed wind tunnel was cool, but what little remains of his positive aspects was his charisma that he abused all for the sake of having women young or old to make love to him and bear him children and brag about his exorcism skills to villagers who want demons to begone when, in actuality, the likes of Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru can fend off demons with their own power far more effectively than this perverted, lame-o Buddhist monk ever could. By the way, one of Miroku's earliest escapades as a teenager of 15 years old was asking poor 11-year-old Koharu if she wanted to bear his children, despite him, you know, showing a fair amount of empathy for this poor girl after what she had to go through. Cut to three years later and she still has not forgotten about his promise, which says something about his morally questionable methods of wanting a wife and whatever amount of children his prospective can provide for his "family".

Speaking of demons, yes, I did enjoy Sango when it came to how much potential she had as a true heroine in stark contrast to Kagome who was usually relegated to being the damsel in distress. However, she has proven herself to be weak and pathetic considering the many times she has found herself being easily manipulated by Naraku that Inuyasha was the enemy and had to rob him of his Tessaiga plus that moment where she had the choice to kill Rin who was Sesshoumaru's ward for the sake of saving Miroku. Therefore, Sango is the perfect case study of who she was on the outside, who she was truly was on the inside, and what I ended up obtaining from her as the viewer. At the end of the day, what I have obtained from her is that she was a strong fighter on the outside and a worthless breeding mare to a pathetic, perverted, borderline pedophile monk on the inside.

Probably the worst aspect about them is how they were being such nosey jackasses in terms of Inuyasha's and Kagome's fart of a relationship. Sure, Miroku and Sango may be a bit older than Inuyasha and Kagome respectively, but their dynamics towards each other is not really any better with Miroku groping Sango and Sango giving him a handprint to his pathetic face. It felt like Kaede, Miroku, Sango, and Shippou did their best to push Inuyasha into being in a relationship with Kagome, despite him still undergoing so much pain and trauma due to failing in his duties of protecting Kikyou from all harm. They were constantly siding with Kagome, even though she herself is no saint, and they constantly grovel at her feet for being such a "special snowflake from the future" who has the power to control Inuyasha with the accursed Beads of Subjugation. I am going to say this and I am going to say it again. Miroku and Sango were truly appalling friends to Inuyasha because of their sheer lack of compassion and understanding. No wonder why Inuyasha was usually antagonistic towards these two lame-os, thus having no semblance of warmth in their fart of a friendship.

In conclusion, I would love to condemn Miroku and Sango to a life of huge bad karma by consigning their fart of a marriage and family to the deepest, darkest, most profound depths of the underworld. Instead of wreaths of glory, they will be stoned by a horde of angry villagers and equally angry yokai. Instead of Inuyasha having to keep them as his "friends", he might as well just walk out on them for good and for all, get the approval of his older brother Sesshoumaru for ditching those low-lives and give him a high-five, be greeted by Ayame's kisses and hugs, and receive the hugs of the likes Dai, Roku, Kai, Rin, Shiori, and Shinta. They deserve nothing more than shame and misery from her to eternity and these two dunderheads shall live miserably ever after.

I hope you all enjoyed my evisceration of Miroku and Sango as well as my ugly, perverse fascination of having these two pathetic dunderheads end up together and I will see you in the next submission. Take care and stay safe, everybody.

Miroku and Sango from Inuyasha belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Sunrise.