Intrusive Thoughts - Paedophile, Homosexual OCD - How To Beat It

A quick story before how to beat it:

This is the most personal post for me so far, as OCD in the type of intrusive thoughts is the main mental health illness that I have battled with since I was 14. No one new I suffered with these kind of thoughts until I was 18 when I shouted out to my mum in terror as I couldn't cope anymore. I kept it a secret as I thought I was a sicko and if people new I would be locked away and I would lose everyone.

I told mum about one type of thought that bothered me most at that moment, although there is like 10 types of intrusive thought. Surprisingly she made me feel better, I didn't expect her to be calm but although she didn't react the right way (by saying don't think it anymore) because she was so calm and good about it I felt a lot better for a while. It wasn't long before the thoughts came back though, reassurance of any kind doesn't work, at least in the long run as you just need more and more, its just another obsessive circle.

As this is about how to beat this, I will just rush my story as I can make a post about that later. The next 6 years would just see me get worse and worse with of course glimmers of hope imbertween, like doing self help cognitive behavioural therapy and a first love relationship but it didn't work out and it was a real fuel boost to send me off a mental cliff. I lost my job, my home and all my friends. A few years on from that and I'm where I am now, I got a flat through a scheme to help those vulnerable without a home (luckily I wasn't on the streets, I lived on my mums lounge floor), I am married and I am having therapy.

How To Beat It:

Now I have known for many years how to get better but haven't which really confused me but you really have to commit, which is very hard when suffering with this condition reduces your motivation so much. You have to be completely focused and committed as its easy to go off track. Intrusive thoughts have many variants such as Paedophile (POCD), Homosexual (HOCD), Incest, Harming others etc. Paedophile and homosexual ocd are the most common but do often switch to other types of intrusive thought.

Intrusive thoughts had me confused because professional and everyday people talk about them differently. As I have been seeing a therapist I now have the correct view of how it all works. Intrusive thoughts are just a weird thought to the healthy minded person, so most people (about 80%) have these thoughts but the ocd sufferer finds them intrusive. So intrusive thoughts are just the way the ocd sufferer sees these random odd thoughts and takes them more real than the well person would. I will admit it as a sufferer of these thoughts, you think how can these thoughts just pop up if you aren't a paedophile or gay etc.

Your brain is constantly thinking and sometimes it comes up with a thought that makes no sense but with ocd, you are very black and white and want full control over yourself. This battle leads to you constantly focusing on your thoughts creating this cycle of analysing and working out if these thoughts mean something real about yourself. Constantly focusing on these thoughts over time makes them more powerful and more convincing until you are totally in belief that you are these thoughts. Now the common theme used is Pure O but I am against this term and think that it shouldn't be used and doesn't exist. At first this might sound stupid that I am slating a term used by many professionals but hear me out, my therapist also agrees that 'pure o' isn't right.

They say 'pure o' is people with only obsessions because the compulsions aren't easily found. This makes me angry and is complete bullshit. I was wrongly diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder with 'obsessive thinking', I new this was rubbish and thought that's the most bullshit diagnosis I have ever heard of. You can't have obsessions without compulsions, that's why its called ocd. So this being said the thought that compulsions are only physical is rubbish and this is why there is this stereotyping of ocd being cleaning and tidying. The compulsion of obsessive thoughts is the analysing and working out if you are these thoughts, like looking at men when they walk past to see if your attracted etc, this is the compulsion. The professional mental health industry needs to unite on these medical terms as mass confusion is happening.

So understanding the condition is important, with all this said you need to get professional help as its a very tough condition to face alone as tried many times and kept stalling from easy distractions like getting drunk with friends but seeing a professional keeps you focused. To make it easier to see what you need to do, I will make a list below of every thing you need to get better. I am doing therapy myself right now, its taken me so long to get on the right track because i have been trapped in situations that many people find them selves in. You need to be in a stable environment to really get better and I haven't been.

Here is the list of things to get you beat Intrusive Thoughts:

1. See a professional/Therapy/Medication - The truth is ocd is such a bitch and if your reading this, its likley you searching because you are struggling. There is no shame in having a mental illness, I know its incredibly hard to go to a professional and talk to them about these thoughts. I was really scared but its very important, I promise you that if you go to a professional, you wont be told you are these things you will finally start to get the right help, therapy and if its helpful for you, medication to help calm you while you have therapy.

2. A stable, calm as possible home/life environment - If you are stressed out your head, arguments all the time at home and work is too much, therapy won't work. Stress worsens OCD, so not only is it important to get your life more calm and quiet to reduce the strength OCD has over you, it means the therapy will actually be able to get you start changing the way you think. Being highly stressed, your brain isn't going to be in a state of learning is it, so get rid of those friends who are useless and upset you and back off from family that just bring you stress. Its time to put yourself first for once.

3. I always say this but a good diet is important, having a energy drink is just going to make your thoughts shoot through your mind at a million miles an hour and make them worse. Alcohol is a complete no no as it messes with medication and the mind, I found thoughts more convincing after drinking. Don't think about taking drugs or anything that can affect the mind. Eat as healthy as possible too.

4. Exercise - Doing as much exercise as possible is good for a lot of things but its great for reducing anxiety which is super high when you have OCD, so burning off that anxiety really helps OCD.

5. GOOD friends/family - Now this may seem brutal but its time to be picky with who you hang around, people who are only there for drinking with but not there emotionally, need to go. You only want people who are there for you like you are for them. This goes for family too, I don't believe in that blood is thicker than water bullshit. If these people aren't good for you and take more than they give, drop them. This will make you feel a lot more positive only being surrounded by people you know you can trust and rely on.

6. Don't be hard on yourself - We all have good and bad days, often a bad day follows a good day and vice versa. When you feel good again often a bad day feels like the worst ever but look at it more level headed, you had a good day which is great or even if its just a good moment. Don't be biased to bad days as you should recognise your wins too. Being more rational makes those lows seem that bit less powerful.

7. Hobbies/Do something you enjoy - The more free time you have the worse its going to be with OCD. If your doing things you enjoy that's less time that you are obsessing over thoughts that just come into your mind.

8. If you have any suggestions for these tips with something you found helpful then write in the comments and I'll look into adding them.

Hopefully this post was helpful in someway, please follow me if you liked it and want too see more of my posts in the future.

Thanks for Reading, Stay Strong,

MHG