Wow! I too grew up with alcoholic parents. However, I didn't have it near as bad as you. I do know I wasn't suicidal up thru high school but I was absolutely fearless when it came to potential death. That was just anger and the reaction to the home life. Half-way thru my Junior year of High School my dad locked himself in a trailer for 5 days and quit cold turkey. He shook for days and felt like had spiders crawling on him, all that withdrawal stuff. My parents life immediately improved as my mother quit at the same time. They still smoked pot, but life did improve.

I am 45 now and the last time I ever drank any form of alcohol I was 15 or 16 (drinking age works great! /sarcasm). Then for years I hated everything to do with alcohol due to all the negative things I'd seen.

I don't hate it now. I am pretty open minded. I think anyone should be able to voluntarily put whatever they want in their body. They simply are responsible for the consequences of such a choice. If there are no consequences, great.

Yet as I stated I didn't have it near as bad as you. I got into computers at age 12. So that and music tended to be my escape. I poured my anger into Heavy Metal music rather than out at other people. I don't think a lot of people realize that brand of music is good for giving an outlet for that.

Anyway you had a great post. I'm glad you are doing better and I too would like to know WTF happened to you in the military.

EDIT: I was actually born in Ft Worth, TX but have lived all but 5 years of my life in Colorado.