Depression and disappointment

in #introduceyourself2 years ago

I just have to speak out at least here to someone reading this story.
I left my country Serbia to live in the UAE 2006 in December.
I got a great job and since 2006 I was working as a flight attendant for Emirates airline.
It was not easy for me job and adopting to the new living environment. And I enjoyed my life and working there.
In total I stayed there for 12 years traveling the world and making amazing memories.

In UAE you don't get any papers and also there is no any retirement plan. I was very aware of that and I was saving all the time so I could continue normal life when I finish my flying.
And 2018 I decided to return home.

But then the story is starting.
I just couldn't imagine that my Country changed to much to worse during my absence.
Situation is catastrophic.
In 2006 there was a promise of better tomorrow and economic transition and yes there was a lot of things going on. Lot of places to visit and good social life.
Now there is emptiness maybe that is the best word to describe the situation.
My village is empty there is no young people there is no life. Everybody left looking for the better life all around the Europe and the world.
To whoever you speak they have somebody living in some foreign country.
Place looks abandoned specially at night.
My house is in the center of the village of 30000 population and at night you can hear your heartbeats literally.
There was some great bars and places to socialize , almost all places are closed or they are turned to some low cost pica places.
There are no children voices to hear no children play at the streets. Now is the January it is snowing , when I go with my doter to play outside we are always alone.
People are deciding to stay behind the closed door like it is some weather catastrophe outside.
My friends are in the mess they changed so much ,they have a lot of problems.

When you go to the villages around which are smaller you can see that thins there are even worse.
Houses are abandoned in my place and it is like that in the entire country.
I think I will make a pictures of the houses which are falling with no roofs all around my village it looks so sad.

People are so down and sad that I can't even describe. You can't have a normal conversation with a Pearson.
People are so aggressive also. I concluded that it is in my best interest to move away from any kind of conflict because you never know what can someone do in the rage.
I am very social person and I can understand that loneliness of individuals around me. They even get surprised if you say speak to them in not formal way or if you are more open.
It looks like some zombie apocalypse.

Maybe one good thing to notice that there is a lot of tourist wandering around. I love to talk to them just to go out of what I feel.
But deep inside of me I am thinking "You are late my friend that country you think you are visiting is gone"

And here I am writing this story just to rest my soul.
I am thinking what is my perspective here ? and what should I do , I have no idea.
I would make a peace with everything around me , but what worries me is the more and more oppressive government.
It is like you are watching some fairy tale on the TV when they speak about the economic progress. It looks like they are delusional.
I feel a little bit better I think telling you this story.

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Things change and life moves on. All you can do is also move on as well. But to where ? I don't know. There must be something there that is positive that you can dwell upon. Its almost possible to change the negatives to positives, but all you can do is join the positive side and support it. If you focus on the negatives, you will drown. Read and write in a positive tone even if the topic is negative.