Bob - Suicide Trip, Life Saving Smiles and Now Steemit!

     

Hi Steemit!     My name is Bob. I'd like to introduce myself and share my story.   

About six months ago, I was plagued by depression and had lost my will to live. I decided to kill myself and had done my research on peaceful suicide methods. I packed a light bag, not expecting to need much, and headed to the airport from my home. My destination was Mexico where I would be able to easily obtain barbiturates from many pet stores.       

Upon arriving, a taxi dropped me off in an area that a “dark forum” had recommended for availability of the drug I sought. Within an hour I found what I was looking for. I found a place to sit and before I knew it a middle-aged lady appeared behind me and pointed at a fridge with drinks. I drank a few beers contemplating my next steps, it seemed fitting to pre-game my own death. Soon after the old lady returned and with an obvious gesture offered me cocaine. In the moment I thought fuck it and gave her the requested $60 she had shown me on a calculator . This was the beginning of three weeks of madness.....  

During the next three weeks I spent in Mexico I spent about $1000 on cocaine and $2000 on prostitutes. I slept with girls that I met on the street, from websites, at saunas and massage clubs. At one massage club I had a foursome in a jacuzzi. I didn't sleep much as I binged on coke for the three weeks and even had $500 stolen from my wallet by a prostitute one time when I did manage to fall asleep.    

My experiences in those three weeks gave me the motivation I needed to not end my life. By all means this HAD NOT CURED my mental condition, which urgently needed treatment, but it had stopped me in the moment from giving myself a lethal injection. I spent three months at a private rehabilitation centre and have not used alcohol, drugs or nicotine since returning home. Amazingly one of the most helpful things for me has been consciously making an effort to try to smile more. For the first time in ages I am experiencing more and more positive thoughts and continuing to look for ways to improve myself and my well-being. I am back in contact with my family who have been caring, loving and supportive and they only wish that I had reached out for help earlier.    

I am starting to integrate exercise into my routine, which I feel improves my mood, as well as looking for new hobbies and activities I can be passionate about. Trawling the internet Bitcoin caught my attention. I had not heard of it before but I was soon emerged in forums and FAQs until I eventually found myself here at Steemit. Bitcoin was tough to get my head around and Steemit is something else! So far it seems to be a highly valuable platform to share on and has a lot of potential. I look forward to taking part in this ground breaking technology and to continue sharing with you all as I continue on my road to a happier life.  

My message to you all is don't ever give up on life and don't ever give up smiling!  

P.S. I am NOT suggesting it is a good idea that to do lots or drugs or visit prostitutes if you are contemplating suicide. Discuss with your family how you feel. Let them support you and find the help you need. They will be more understanding and loving than you might think. Search for a local support group and there will be a number you can call 24/7 if you would like to talk with someone. There are numerous forums online where you can also receive 24/7 support and advice. Please seek help immediately if are you having suicidal thoughts!