My story shows how you can find your vocation even after you was going on a wrong way (it took 8 years of my life). Now i know that i'll not afraid changes even in 60 years old. If you are feeling that you are wasting your time on the unloved job, just leave it, and don't be afraid to learning.
40 Days of Dark & 40 Days of Light.
I was lucky to be born in July, because it happened in the city behind Arctic-circle, Murmansk, Russia. It's the Sami land, with many lakes and harsh climate, therein winters lasts 7-8 months. From December to January, the sun doesn’t appear, it's called Polar Night, but instead of the sun you can see the Northern lights every day. I had saw it so many times, more than sunrises in my life. And there is one month in summer, when sun never go down, its called Polar day.
Polar Night (how it looks at 1:00 pm)
Polar Day ( about 1:40 am)
Me and my mother
My mother works in city library all her life, and father was a seaman. They had divorced, when I was 6. My mother, with me and my sister stayed in Murmansk, and father went to USA. After several years he came back to Russia, and created successfu businessl. I will not tell how hard was life in Russia, after the collapse of the USSR. I think all my generation used to work in early teenage, and count on themselves. Anyway I had beautiful childhood.
I remember in childhood we take special light-baths in winter to get D-vitamins. Even found a photo in web how it looks:)
The prophecy of the shaman.
About 2 years ago mother told me one story: One day it was exposition about Sami life in their library. There was old Sami shaman and when he had saw my mother he approached to her and said:
I see you have 2 kids, daughter and son. Your daughter will always give you a calm and stability, she always will do all that you want, and will be happy. You will never worry about her future.
And your son will never listen to you, you will always disturb about him. Don’t angry on him, just support and believe. After all troubles, he will become happy too.
Shaman was right. Few times mother even took me from police (not my fault). I wasn't a bad guy, just playful.
It's time to be an adult
In Russia we finish school at 16. In Murmansk you don’t have many choices in next education and profession. Most men becomes a sailors. Of course you can start your own business, but I always felt myself more worker, than businessman. I wished something more, for pay back my debts to mother, and make her proud of me. After school all my classmates had decided stay at Murmansk, or go to the S. Petersburg. And only I decided go to Moscow for get education. From 12 years old I had a dream: to create aircrafts and spaceships . So I decided to enroll in the Moscow Aviation University (National Research University) on Aeronautical Engineering faculty.
My parents not communicated since they had divorced. Father was not involved in our upbringing and communicate with us not too much. But when he had found out about my decision he said that now I’m adult, and I must understand that if I'll make this choice I must to do it myself, and get responsibility for it, without expecting any help from him and my mother. And one more thing he said: he doesn't believe that I can do it, and I probably will be wasting my time… that sounded corny, but after several years I understood that it was most useful lesson in my life. His words pushed me to do my best, and prove to him that I can a lot. So I went to the Moscow.
Hello, new life.
I had never felt the fear of big cities, just don’t like noises of it. Even now, after 11 years living in megapolis my north nature always call me back in to the silence and harmony.
In the first entering I had failed exams. I didn’t expect that it will be so hard, but i stayed in Moscow for the next year and started training for the next try. In the second time it was easy to passed :)
It was hard and happy days in the same time. I had found a new job, which gave me enough money for rent and for living. But I often missed lections and practice because of this job. And when exams in first semester have begun, i wasn't ready, I had almost expelled. Curator told me that I must to pass 4 exams in one day, or i will be expelled. So, I had quit from the job and started learning all that i missed. After 5 days i have done it, got B-grade for all exams. I was exhausted and understood that i can’t keep on working at normal job and get studying in the same time, because exams will be more difficult in the next semesters, I must to find some side job. Less money, less food, but more time. Thanks to my mom that she never told me “come back home son” she always believed that I have enough patience. Her food packages saved me from starvation. Only to 6th semester I have found balance between study and job, and had payed of debts.
On the 4th year of study we have got a practice in Central Aerohydrodynamic Institute. On the 4th year of study we have got a practice in Central Aerohydrodynamic Institute. And i saw in what deplorable state they were. They received only one-two orders in a year and didn't have enough money for new developments. I decided to find a job in other sphere with my specialization, after university.
Aerodynamic tube T-T101. They use it even today, i had a practiceon it.
During my study I have changed many side jobs in different spheres (economy, trading, service...), not one of them weren't interesting for me. Anyway It was great time, I think the best time in my live with full feeling freedom and many meets with excellent peoples, which still remains my friends.
After 6 years has come the day, when I’ve got my engineering diploma. From 42 people in the beginning only 12 graduated University. In the next week I ran to interviewing for the job in state research and production space center Khrunichev…
Dream vs Government & reality.
Khrunichev It is the Government company with high degree of secrecy, so I spend 2 months to pass all test and get this job. All my relatives were checked, even grand-grand ma. Finally I was adopted to the Department for development of new booster rockets. I was thinking that I will see miracles and get outstanding knowledges from this place and my future colleagues. After all, this guys sent Gagarin into the space. In reality It was became a nightmare.
Sorry that can't share with you original shots, its just disallow to have any gadget for staff, because of of secrecy.
Job-offer have started work recently in Russia. Even today, most of companies give you a contract with minimal salary, and provide normal money with bonuses... often it works only in words. That how they pays less when you quit. So my salary was about 300$/month- it was less that I had ever earned on side jobs, while was studying in university. For example: rent a flat in Moscow costs about 500-600$/month. They have promised more in interview, but after turned out that you must sign the agreement that you can’t leave country for the next 20 years.
Salary like that possible even when government spends huge money in this industry. Our CEO every month gave bonus to himself 100000$ (welcome to Russia).
I thought: “not scared, I will find some side job (again), when i will get a dorm from the company”. But there was no any dorm, it was rebuild to the hotel, where lived business partners. So, i had moved to my girlfriend in suburban. Love supported me, and I even found side job in SEO anyway :)
Ok, I found love, home, money for living, and began projecting booster rockets! Actually all of it, except boosters… The problem was in age, not mine, of my colleagues. For example my boss was about 80 years old. 80-85% of staff were older that 60 years! They possessed unique knowledge in their specialty and told a lot of stories about the dawn of the space era of our country. But every several weeks someone just died from age. I thought I was resistant for stress, but it was mistake. With each passing month, week, day was harder and harder to recognize that tomorrow you will not meet someone of your colleague. In the same time it was the reason of delays in ours project and production. Every day I wasted 6-7 hours on the road to the office and back home. My organism started falter. On the second year I was ill every month because of lack of sleep.
Every time when someone left, we had to make back steps to understand his work and continue research. Over my work years we made only 2 test launches (when were supposed to do 5). All calculates was provided to other company, because there wasn’t any clusters. Over time our researching begun to fading, when government had reduced expenses on new projects. They decided keep on use old booster rockets Proton-M, and just upgrade it. And our work had slowed down even more. I can't say there was no work, it was, and many. But it looks like running in circle, without any results.
I were working there 2 years, and quit 2 weeks after head of our Department had died. I felt that I had wasted 8 years of my life for nothing…and it was true.
I have never discouraged before, even when it seemed like I will fail. But after 8 years which I spend for nothing… I couldn’t got a job in my specialization in commerce companies (one more rule in Khrunichev contract). In aviation industry was the same situation with low salary and nothing to do.
So, I was going to work in SEO and had thought about Information Technology and Internet, i decided to try from the beginning. Soon i had found the second job: helpdesk operator in internet provider, and finally I found passion in something! I was studying hard, began from CCNA and OS and later decided keep on working in system administration, two years later i became an IT engineer in the one of the biggest internet service provider company in our country.
And now I see many ways to growing up in the future, If I’ll not lazy. I have never felt inspired and motivation like this before. Every day you learn something new and you know that technology change our world faster and faster, and you are part of this future. Sometimes I think that I had found it too late, all my friends in this area have 10 years of experience, but I think there is no borders for me to overtake them. And I have understand that all this 8 years wasn’t useless, thanks for it I can take new specialization very fast.
Also, over this time I understand how lucky I was, when i met my girlfriend, which supported me all this years, while I have being found myself. She was woke up with me at 4 a.m. every day, all 2 years while I worked there, to tell me "have a nice day".
We had arrived back to Moscow from suburban 2 years ago. 1 year ago i had asked her married me. And she said “yes”, she hasn't got any choice because of place where it happened :) maybe tell about it later.
GoPro was on my neck:)
Wedding was in November, it was the most nervous and great day in all my life!
We've got 3 wonderful pets.
After Khrunichev I finally can help to my mother, and even have some money for trips. In autumn we are planning go to Indonesia with my wife, and travel from Jakarta to Bali without any hotels, ourself trip. (Soon i'll make the post with detailed itinerary, and will glad to hear advices)
I can say I’m happy now, And i'm ready to go further. All that past years were more hard and stressful for my mom, than me, i think. I wasn't at home 5 years. And i'm ready go
***Now i'm beginner miner, thanks for my job i can create not bad farm not expensive, STEEMIT has pushed me to try it. Also like literature of different directions, and read research in social and psychological spheres. STEEMIT gives me the opportunity and very strong motivation to raise a skill of English. I'll glad to share with you by interesting articles, hope they will be clear enough