My "self" and me - an introduction

Hello Steemians, I found the community yesterday and tried hard to write something about me, but I couldn’t. Maybe because I was tired, it was already too late here in Petrópolis, Rio de Janeiro, or maybe because I didn’t know yet what to write. This “revealing ourselves” task freaks me out, however, I wanted to do it and prove myself I am capable of creating a narrative about basic things of my life. I’d really like to fill in these lines with something really vital about my path on this immense Earth, o telling you all how my teaching experience in the Brazilian school system was, or how my actual translation experience is, but I sat in front of my laptop, type two or three sentences and erase them to retype everything again, meaning nothing is really worth telling, or if something is really worth telling, why am I here? I have one answer and I continued telling my story.

At first, I had to write in Portuguese, my mother language, to get the whole picture of what I was about to write and also to understand the right tone I was about to give everyone through my lines. And to open this period I tell you that I am a teacher and worked as such for 18 years when I finally decided to leave the educational system, for a bunch of reasons and decided to work as a translator. Nowadays, this is what I do in my home office, I receive translation projects from Brazilian and some international companies, mainly in the Spanish-Portuguese-Spanish pair of language, and deliver them during the week. In the meanwhile, my real passion arises: writing. I feel an immense pleasure when I write my stories, short ones, bigger ones, drabbles, fanfics and sometimes poems. That reminds me I wanted so much to become a writer in my early adulthood, and that is why I studied Languages in university. But the literary world in Brazil does not favor writers. People are not interested in reading right now in Brazil for so many reasons and it discourages people like me to continue working on literary pieces in my mother language. And this hurts me so much and profoundly.

I can’t hide this was my biggest frustration, but when the dream is strong enough, there is a way to make it come true. That was in this very moment I found Steemit! For two days I surfed the site and read all I could to learn about it and all it could offer. I am following the recommendations and here I am, before you, feeling my soul and heart happy to express a little bit of who I am.

I shall add that together with “trying” to be a writer, I like doing other things as well, such as listening to music, especially those from the 70s and 80s. Sometimes, I like drawing. I wouldn’t say “drawing”, but creating something with crayons, pencils, and gouache. The abstract in the painting field calls my attention and makes me feel comfortable because I can explore everything as in a clear piece of paper and start a story fresh from my impressions of that art. This is a way to express myself! When I create a drawing or paint something, it becomes part of who I am, a real living part of me, and I keep asking myself: how much of ourselves is imprinted in what we create? I dare to say we out much of us, but we are humble (or scared) enough to admit we do, and terrified to understand that what is before us is our modified ego, the one we want to express, or not.

Creating my texts, articles, and stories from figures, drawings, paintings and even sculptures and landscapes is an experience of freedom to me. Sometimes, I am in on place and see something unusual, or even the usual daily things sometimes, and my head just start creating a story and I can’t stop the process. The way I like them to be is simple and short, like taking a picture of that moment and put it into words, quick and intense words, and the reader will get the impression and develop his own story in his mind. This is the power of literature for me: creating an affinity in the creation process itself. At present, I am writing fanfics, drabbles and short stories ranging from 250 to 500 words. Sometimes, I make stories a little longer, but I can tell that ephemerous (lacking a better word here) stories are the ones that captivate me. They give me the sense to explore the psychological essence of a single character, present it to the audience, and make them understand themselves by reading someone else’s short life drama. The audience can identify themselves, repel the story, or even continue thinking about life as a continuous flow and ask: where is it going to end?

I am a calm person, and I don’t go out much, just when I need food or pay my bills, which can be paid online, but I keep telling me I need a little bit of sun in my skin not to turn myself into a statue in my living room. I don’t consider myself an introverted person, I am talkative and funny at times, but I prefer quietness of my home than the loudness of the streets in all senses. This is my style, people said I am crazy staying home most of the time and some of them even told me I was missing the best part of life that is to be social. But, I keep questioning: what is the best part of life to every single person in the world? Is it to follow rules to fit in, or is it living life in your own respectful and loving way? If you are not making anyone suffer, causing harm to the “society”, thumbs up! Live your life and be happy! With that said, I continue living my life writing and making a white document of Word my best friend to picture me to the world.

Spiritually saying, I am a seeker, a researcher, an avid reader, a being who brings inside his soul a kind of seed from somewhere, and who is willing to learn about this (in)visible world that scares so many people. I read a lot about religion, mainly the ones related to Brazil, Middle East, and Asia. Sometimes I write articles about something I read in a religious book, not to defend or make it clear to anyone, but to try and understand everyone’s opinion about something that is unclear to me, or that causes me to write, know more, and create my own opinion. I have no pretension to be a Pastor, Priest or Martyr. My idea about it is to learn together with the community and never stop “seeking”, which is so inherent to my soul.

That was what I could gather right now about me, opening some windows and doors for you all know a little about the person inside this house. There is no other way to know someone if there is no willing to open life’s door to others. They don’t need to enter your world, but they can peer through the window and understand a little the meaning of your life and the meaning you “give” to life.

I hope you like my work. Sometimes I will be in touch with people, asking them if I can use their paintings or drawings to attach my work and create a contemporary cross-artistic work if I can coin this term. This kind of interaction is my healing point (yes, I heal from deep wounds from the past, who doesn’t), it will make me grow, I have this feeling and also have a question: where will all this stop?

(Sorry for my English!)