Domestic Violence Survivor - Intro post

Greetings, Steemitians!

I am Lilac.
This is my story, and it is about living with a violent spouse. It is about losing your friends, your family, your freedom and even yourself.
Its not a beautiful story. It may be upsetting and hard to read, but it is important, because this story is also about surviving all of the above, finally finding a way out, and working towards recovery.

Last summer, I finally walked out of the 5 year long relationship. I made a bunch of attempts before, I stayed at a couple of women's shelters, but returned to my partner, lets call him Mike, every time.
Now, I live under something similar to the witness protection program, with hidden identity and more, since Mike is still trying to find me.
Because of that, I have decided not to share my real name or personal information. I hope that's alright =).

So, lets get to it.

I was born in the 90's, and I grew up in a pretty small Scandinavian town.
I had a warm and loving family, many friends and I did well in School.
I had a very simple and fun childhood, with a well-off family, in a safe town.

When I turned 20, I was already working as a sales manager for a big corporation, after working in their sales force since I was 16. I had moved to my nations capital city and spent my weekends at bars and pubs, with many friends, and my relationship with my family was as good as ever.

I'm not telling you all this to seem like I had a perfect life or childhood, I had felt my share of sorrow and pain, like everyone else. I'm telling you this to point out that domestic violence can happen to anyone.
It doesn't matter if your rich or poor, male or female, old or young. It can happen regardless of your occupation, social status and upbringing.

I was in my early 20s when I met a man I fell in love with. I fell in love with him like I had never fallen in love before.
Our relationship grew fast, we moved in together almost right away and we married after only a year.
Mike was drinking alot from the beginning, but during the first six months of us living together, he was fun, loving, caring and "normal". After those six months, however, things started taking a turn for the worse.

He started accusing me of cheating, he became very jealous and "protective". The mental abuse, including slowly cutting me off from my family and friends, started early on, without me noticing it or getting alarmed by it. He was such a loving person, you know?

The physical violence started maybe a year into our relationship. I lived through daily rape and forced sex for the most part of about three years. I spent around 4 years mostly locked in and trapped in his (our) apartment.

After living with this person for 5 years, I finally left for good. I had tried several times before finally leaving for real.

Today, I cant work because Im dealing with pretty strong PTSD and anxiety, which I am receiving help for.
But, I am engaged to the most wonderful man you could imagine. My son (who you will learn more about) is well, and we are growing a new, strong and loving relationship. I have beautiful dog that I take everywhere I go, she helps me with my social anxiety, she helps my confidence and she is my friend, hero, baby and sweetheart.

So why would anyone be interested in this? Im not sure. But I am hoping that maybe someone who is going through a similar thing can find my steemit helpful in some way.
Maybe you can come to realize that it is not your fault, as the victim? Maybe you can recognize some of the things that has happened to me, and realize you deserve better? Or maybe you are worried about a loved one and their relationship?

I will write about how a violent relationship can start, how it can play out, how I survived it both physically and mentally (even if I have some scars), how I feel now and how I recover and build a new life.
I hope it can help someone.

Edit: If you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment. I could use some tips about what you would like to read more about =)

Peace.