My story - Searching for the meaning in life

First 10 years of my life :- The Crying
Even though i'm the only child in life i never got any love from the parents, an angry mom and a schizophrenic dad.Mom hates dad but she can't express her hate towards him as she might harm her and she can't divorce because we live in Indian society where most of the people are avoided to interact in society if they are divorced. so she gets angry on him everyday and and used to show it on me and i was helpless. Used to go to the bathroom and cry everyday.

Next 5 years of my life :- The Love
Got my first computer as dad started selling them, and i was in love with them. everyone at that time in india, people of my age can't even switch on a computer properly and i started learning programming and then within 3 months parents sold the PC saying that using computer at that age is not good. But i was in love with technology and started reading every magazine newspaper articles etc., and also discovered porn which is another story.

Next 5 years of my life:- The heart break
I had good friends but then most of them are because they want to know which is phone is good or how to download porn how to install games etc., but then thats ok for me as by helping them i can use their PC for sometime which makes me happy and satisfied. Then whenever their pc runs into problems problems i used to get blamed, one after another all the guys formed into a group saying that i come to their houses and spoil their computers and started telling everyone that i only talk with people who have computers and my whole school used to think like that so i stopped talking with everyone.

The last 5 years:- The Suffering
So i joined college with great dreams and aspirations of becoming the best programmer and the first 2 years of a CS course doesn't have a CS subject, i was extremely sad stopped studying, fell in love with a beautiful girl and she loves me too. But in the end she says she will not marry someone with a different religion and leaves me was depressed and dropped out of the college.
Was always interested in trading and filmmaking, so started learning filmmaking, time to buy a camera and go to a film school! So started trading with all the money i have to buy a camera first and then earn money to get into a film school. My parents gave all the money when i requested them very hard. So the money was in Bitfinex and i lost all of it in the hack.

I don't understand the meaning of my life anymore, When i look back i can't remember a moment when i was happy.
I'm depressed and confused now .
Any btc donations are welcome with love
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