INTRODUCTION: Wild Gorilla Gardener Handbook | Steemit Publishing |

in introduceyourself •  10 months ago

This gardeners guide is written for the adventurous outdoors cannabis connoisseur. Not everyone has what it takes to become a successful gorilla. This life long path is exhausting, spiked, stinging, and worth it. Warriors of the weed, are fighting on the front lines of nature against man-made illusions, near you. Yet you never see us. Please appreciate I am take great risk sharing my story with you here on Steemit, this is directly breaking the first two rules of Gorillas Garden.

Gorilla Garden 2.png


Do not talk about Gorillas Garden.


Do not talk about Gorillas Garden.


Be gorillas in the mist.

Screen shot 2017-10-01 at 11.36.17.png

Be vigilant.
Be invisible.
Be unseen.
Be unheard.
Be gorillas in the mist.

Screen shot 2017-10-01 at 11.35.32.png

This is a book I have been eager to write for many years, now we have Steemit! My exclusive publisher for the Wild Gorilla Gardener Handbook, which creates constant reminders of our rules of play, in gorillas garden. The greatest mistakes are usually made by the lackadaisical warrior gorilla, who has slipped into sloppy practice, after getting too comfortable in the false sense of serenity of the forest. We must avoid laziness at all costs. Expect occasional interruptions, being willing to adjust actions according to surrounding schedules is what makes you invisible. We'll steem many more chapters talking about invisibility, it is our greatest weapon.

Wild Gorilla Gardener Handbook

Exclusive publishing through Steemit
Screen shot 2017-10-01 at 11.35.47.png

FIRST RULE: Explained

Telling "friends" where your garden is, pretty much guarantees losing all hard of work, in the future. What I mean is, whether snatched by thieves, or ceased by authority, we want to avoid both at all costs. That best buddy today, is likely to change over the next 5 - 10 years, friends come and go. Gardens are forever. Moving your entire garden is not an easy task, the benefits of hauling fences, tools and nutrient rich goodies is cumulative for years to come. Once the work is done, it's done. We'll want to avoid doing repetitive workloads every season, wherever possible. I will teach you how to not leave a trace, not disturb nature, and keep all your stuff dry in Steemit chapters to come.


SECOND RULE: Explained

There is a reason this point is stressed repetitively. Imagine your garden has been raided, by whom you do not know. That is the question. All your lovely bud is gone, nothing but sticks and stalks. All the invested money and wasted time is the greatest regret, and now your mind turns to who? How? Questioning everything, and everyone. If you've told no-one, you are safe to suspect no-one. You are safe to say that you picked a bad spot or got unlucky this year, but there were no friendships at stake at the same time. That would make the loss more heart-breaking than it has to be.

Once a garden has been discovered, it's game over for the gorilla gardener! There is no worse fate than to be discovered. Once people log your location once, it's very easy for them to check-up on you again in years to come. All Gorillas Garden RULES and Warrior Handbook point to one common theme; remain mysteriously undiscovered. That one place in the woods where know no one else wants to be. Move in there. Deep amongst thorns and stinging foliage, behind walls of natural protection. To succeed, we must first be willing venture deep in the forest where no-one else dares; the uninhabitable bits.

Screen shot 2017-10-01 at 11.36.02.png

THIRD RULE: Explained

Being Gorillas in the mist is what this entire Steemit book is about. Gorilla-ing in the mist is where we feel most alive. This is the reward that awaits the vigilant warrior on ninja night missions at 3am as city lights twinkle below the misty mountains. The air is fresh and served with sense of stillness and peace. The only noise is your own feet in the undergrowth, and the hooting owl above asking who who who'se there?! By the time the sun is rising, you have already elegantly departed the woodlands, skipping over the mountain ranges with packs of deer darting in and out of the trees and across the crop circle fields. There is a scent of weed trailing behind, emanating from the freshly trimmed nuggets of smelly sativa in your pockets. Such is the life of a gorilla in the mist.

Gorilla Bud.png

Expect to spend 99% of the adventure time alone. These are solo missions. No girlfriends. They're often more changeable than friends! There is literally no need to tell, anyone. This practice is the safest, yet most difficult for the ego. It is likely that as you become a warrior of the woods, a walk that seems to take hours will soon become a run which takes minutes! As your garden grows, so will your endurance! This is not for the lazy stoner who hopes to plant some seeds in the woods, and come back to harvest a successful plant. It is quite realistic that during one seasonal year you may visit up to 100 times. In your excited eager early-birds enthusiasm you may wish for company; someone to celebrate in your nature ninja-ing. But remember rule one. And remember rule two. Especially once you're reaping the rewards, everyone will appear, asking to visit. Stay strong. Remember the rules. This excitedness will subside, it will be replaced with a greater wisdom. The wisdom of 100's of visits. Your friends will never make it there more times then you can count on one hand. They want to visit for the novelty, that's it. The never-ending risk and concern of giving away your greatest secret, will never equal the novelty of the garden tour.

GorillasGarden.pngsteemit black.png

COMING NEXT FROM @GorillasGarden

Step by Step Guides

  • Finding your new Garden
  • Creating your Story
  • Seedbank
  • Nursery
  • Transporting Nutrients
  • Digging your Patch
  • Fencing Protection
  • Watering Tips
  • Harvesting Ideas
  • Gorilla Life Hacks
  • Smoke Out, Steem On


Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
Sort Order:  

Post a good post is not easy but this one I liked, continue doing good post.
I wish you the best! Hope you gonna have fun with our community and see you soon.


Thanking you! This project has taken many years to finally "release" to the public. See you soon :)

Welcome to Steemit gorillasgarden and I'm sure you'll have a great time here!! :)

Congratulations @gorillasgarden! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

Award for the number of upvotes received
You got a First Reply

Click on any badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.
For more information about SteemitBoard, click here

If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

By upvoting this notification, you can help all Steemit users. Learn how here!

welcome to steemit, you have been followed

Welcome :)!


Here a few tips for starters snce you probably won't get any advice from those who comment under here, here's what I gathered thus far.
It's tough to make money at first so if that's your main cause to be on here grind that into your head straight away, that doesn't mean you shouldn't post content, you should, but enganging with others in the comment sections to grow your following is your best bet. Which categories?

Probably the introduce yourself one and the photography section but you can choose things that you have knowledge about too and then go from there just know that there is a lot of crap on here so plowing through that just to connect with others can be tough. Cheers.

Hello, @Gorillasgarden, In case this has been your first Introdusemyself Post i'm here to welcome you to Steemit. I hope you have a lot of fun here and you may follow me. Have a great time @rightuppercorner

Welcome to Steemit! Nice introduction post! Thanks for sharing :) Keep on Steeming.


Hi @firepower, thanks for your support! I admire your work & Steemit.Chat! Many more gorilla chapters to follow, Keep on Steeming :)

Welcome to steemit @gorillasgarden.
Followed you and upvoted.
Another good startup guide for you :



Thanks for the guide!

Awesome tips, thanks.

repost this with more steps andmore image sof the plants closeups under #cannabis and make it a canabis post and write more aboutthe plants and yeah u will find success! this si great i just feel SOgrateful to live soemwhere that lets me grow legally on my own families land!

but this is really cool to realize that you can grow anywhere if you just pick a nice spot out in the open! northern california is full of people doing this!

Great post gorillasgarden , One has to play by Natures rules( Laws) to be succeful

Very interesting! I looked at your profile and noticed that you have made a fresh account so I wanted to give you my welcome. Have an upvote and keep on doing you!
Getting those big upvotes on a new account can be a daunting task, believe me, so my advice would be to give @MinnowPowerUp a go as you can earn up to 30% more steem power than just powering up! It's a subscription based daily upvote bot that draws its power from a delegation pool. I compiled this post to explain the system in more depth and share my own experience in earning wupvotes for over $1 a day.