Hello Steemit community!

Hello everyone! This is my introduction. I am futuremind. I am a 31 year old man with an uncertain future. I don't prefer to be identifiable by name, but by my Steemit name. Why is this the case? I feel I would be judged and ostracized. Not because of how I look, but perhaps because of what I may embark on.

A quick bio of my life is quite simple. I joined the Marine Corps at the ripe age of 18, and did quite fine for the 4 years I was enlisted. I was discharged honorably in 2008 and the rest is history. I had no idea what the world was about to dish out to me, and of course was oblivious to the monkey I had on my back (alcoholism).

I fell flat and was homeless by the age of 22. Abandoned by my family (as I see it) tough love they called it. Exacerbation at its finest. I was living on the streets for a year straight. After that period I started receiving universal base income as I call it but was in and out of jail, as well as homeless on and off again right up until present time. I've been working construction for the past year, and have had an apartment (shared living situation) the entire time.

My period of sobriety has had slips. I won't tell the lie that I'm fixed and haven't relapsed a couple times. I've gone at it multiple times, and stress brings me back to the bottle time and time again. I however have a genuine desire to harbor a clean mind filled with wisdom and intelligence, and do not consider giving up to be an option of any kind.

So my current living situation is pretty terrible. I cannot get to the grocery store when I need to, I live with people who sponge (terribly) and saying no just simply isn't an option, as it will come with future problems and unwanted drama. I also really really hate my job. I've worked many different shitty jobs in my time on this planet, but none even come close to this. Not only is it very hard labor, but my body is starting to deteriorate , and I have pains and joint problems that I don't even talk about, because simply put, I can't get to the VA to set up primary care to even make an appointment so whats the point in complaining? I just go on day in and day out starving, because when I do have money its nearly impossible for me to spend it correctly. I have to order food, I'm smoking pot to deal with the stress, and its expensive.

The details I have left out would take a novel to cover, and invariably would describe the lives of others who've not asked to have the publicity. So it will all come together over time I'm sure.

So the big question is what am I planning, and why have I come to steemit to document it?

well, I really can't live the life I'm living anymore. I've decided that its time for me to leave. I have actually decided to be homeless again. It may sound crazy, but when you are living in an impossible quicksand situation, where change is impossible , opportunity and resources are null, what other option do you have? I really don't want to do this, but I've mentally prepared for it , and I see no other way.

I've decided to document this journey here with pictures, and glimpses into my life. You just wont know who futuremind is, and thats ok, because we'll still be friends and I believe that maybe this community will help me survive the mental torture of homelessness. Knowing from experience. It's true mental torture. I wouldn't wish homelessness on anyone. Especially without a car which is how I will be doing it. I'm older than the last time I was homeless, and wiser.

I hope my introduction didn't depress anyone. I look forward to being here.