Happy to welcome you and Sparky to Steem! You've come to the best place to unleash all of your energy and creativity! BTW, love that you created a character sheet of yourself. There are many D&D enthusiasts on this platform who will appreciate it!

I think the events in your story will end up taking a toll on Father Humborg's peace of mind. Not to say he won't be able to rally but I'm betting that there will be nightmares ahead (at the very least). You've lots of great action and detail in your writing though I'd like to recommend a couple of technical changes. One being to break up overly long sentences into two or perhaps three shorter ones. This helps a reader not to become fatigued when they read. Another thing I'd like to suggest is in regards to dialogue. Whenever there is a change in which character is speaking, put the new dialogue on a different line. This helps the story flow and the reader to easily identify who is speaking when.

Thanks for the story and your great introduction! I hope that you find joy and success in your time on our platform and please don't hesitate to ask any questions that you may have.

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We wanted to let you know, we have given you a 25% upvote, are now following you, and are introducing you to everyone we know. You can visit our post HERE.

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