Diary of an Archetype: an introduction.

arqetype (60)in #introduceyourself • 7 years ago (edited)

The Catalyst at Sunset

It was November of 2014, in New York City. I was in a small theatre studio in Chelsea. All around me was black. The walls, the chairs, the wardrobe of my classmates. But my mind was on fire. Not in the sense of creative fervor, but of struggle. The meeting of my subconscious rising to the surface to meet the cold hard reality of my present situation. I had lost 30 pounds in the past 2 months(I didn't have 30 pounds to loose), I was shaking from the lack of sleep(I hadn't slept more than 3 hours a night for about 4 months), and anxiety due to the caffeine and nicotine running in my veins. I was working 2 jobs and going to school full time. I was not happy. I was not fulfilled. I had no sense of direction and wasn't happy where I was going. I was putting all of my mental and physical energy towards something that I had become disillusioned with. This wasn't what I wanted to do. I didn't want to go to this school, and I sure as hell didn't want to be in this insane tormentous city not designed for the well being of the human animal. How did I get here!? What was the matter with me? Why was I doing this? What part of my mind had driven me into this insane situation that might lead me to a massive breakdown of mental and physical health. And why couldn't I stop? Why did I have to be so stubbornly on this path.

With tears in my eyes and tension throughout my entire being I walked to the nearest window, opened it, and leaned out to get some fresh air that wasn't tainted with the frustration and emotional masturbation of my fellow student comrades. I'll never forget that moment. It was sunset, and a colorful neon sign of a shabby motel hovered in my vision. And then, Satori. From the other a voice so clear and present entered my internal dialogue, halting all other processes and spoke “I don’t have to do this anymore.” Waves of ecstasy and pleasure swept over my body. In my heart I felt a resonance of truth so strong I began to cry. I left the classroom and hid in the bathroom to take in the moment. I was free. Free. I no longer had to do this. Any of this. Everything I thought I was, what I wanted to do with my life, mattered no more. It was leading me in a direction I was not happy with, and that I truly no longer wanted. But why? Why had I done this? Why had I endured a life I had no desire for and knew all along deep within myself had expired. How could this have happened?

I will never forget that moment. That may have been the most profound moment of my life. Not only had it offered me freedom, but it has sent me down a hole of deep personal discovery. Who am I? What do I like? What do I want to do with my life? For the first time since I was a child I had the opportunity to really ask myself these things and live a life of complete freedom.

I decided to stay in the City for another 8 months because I felt that N.Y.C. offered me the option to really grow as a human. I wasn't particularly fond of the city, but there were things left undone. Anyone who has lived there for extended periods of time will understand that it changes you. The endless hours spent underground, crammed with fellow professional angry people, never having your own personal space or alone time, dealing with the energy and stench of the city, and barely scraping by, by the skin of your teeth every month will change you. It will show you your weaknesses and strengths. It builds character and offers you a unique moment to see yourself in the grand matrix of our grand civilization.

So Who am I?

Hello Steemit! My name is Jake Marquez. I am a 24 year old professional Action Photographer and filmmaker from Park City, UT USA.

I’m not quite sure who I am, but for the first time in my life I like where i’m going. In those remaining 8 months in New York I realized I had to change, I needed to learn and grow and change aspects about myself the were completely unknown to me. If I didn't I knew I would end up in a life I despised or worse dead. Almost instinctively I began to meditate. Every day with diligence I sat down in my Washington Heights apartment, closed my eyes, and counted my breaths. I began listening to podcasts 24/7, then those podcasts led to other podcasts, and books, and documentaries, spiritual practices, to plant medicines, to going to the gym EVERY single day. That catalyst at sunset sent me on what I can only describe as the quintessential Hero’s journey of Joseph Campbell. I had begun to question everything I knew. To Begin to mistrust my culture, politics, schooling, people around me, and all common narrative. The only anchor I had was MY knowledge. What I had come to know as true, what truly resonated with my mind and body.

What strange days those were for me. I began to see everything around me as the patterns they were, the structures and subconsciousness of the city. After meditating I would spend hours walking. Seeing everything with a clear view, the people, the buildings, the sub conscious conversations and beliefs. I began to see(for lack of better words) the matrix. Things began to make sense to me.

Diary of an Archetype

I recently have started a project Called Diary of an Archetype. As I have begun to understand myself and the world around me, I've released my journey is Archetypal. The patterns and themes are all part of archetypal forces present throughout all history and religion. I want to document and conversate about these things so that others and myself can better understand this strange and beautiful realm we all inhabit and participate in. What are these concepts?

Sex

What is sexuality? Why do we have it? Is it purely biological function meant for reproduction? Or is it a tool we have for connection? Has the universe given us tool to interact with each other. A tool to utilize the most powerful form of vulnerability, love and bonding? Why is our culture so sexually dysfunctional. 45% of marriages end in divorce and the remaining percentage are likey are not happy. Where did modern marriage come from? Why did we start it? Is it good or bad for us? Why do we have narratives of “men are from Mars, women are from Venus.”? We have evolved and existed side by side for BILLIONS of years. Why do we believe we can't communicate and understand each other properly? Why is it that our closest genetic relatives the Bonobo can utilize sexuality as a form of conflict resolution, healing, communication, and tribal connection?

Drugs/Entheogens/Psychedelics/Exopheromones

Shortly after my time of changing my direction in New York, I had the opportunity to take LSD for the first time. The experience was crucial and wonderful. It started in central park listening to Bon Iver, and ended with me meditating on infinity and death in the very Gothic St. Patrick's cathedral. Since then I have been fascinated with drugs. The human history with drugs. The spiritual implications of psychedelics throughout history. The philosophy and art produced by them. The realization that we are drugs. Every cognitive function comes from the endogenous drug dealer within all of us. Why does our culture handle drugs in the way it does? In a world with organizations like MAPS(multidisciplinary association of psychedelic research) doing studies on MDMA and psilocybin for ptsd and depression. This topic has become so fascinating to me and very personal. I had been fortunate enough to have experiences with plant medicines that have healed, given me guidance and a better understanding of myself and the universe.

Divine Masculine and Feminine

Along with sexuality, I believe we are highly confused about these concepts in modern times. They are the divine archetypal forces running through everyone of us. They are the Yin and Yang, the Sun and Moon. The two great balancing forces of the universe yet never have we been more confused by them. With terms such as ‘toxic masculinity’ I can't help be frustrated with my generation for not trying to have a deeper understanding. Not to long ago we didn't live in a dominator civilization. A civilization run by shadow masculine. Ancient pre-dynastic Egypt was run equally by man and women. We come from a society that was highly egalitarian and shared all resources and love. Our factor of survival was dependent on how well we could mutually benefit each other and our environment. But we have far strayed that path. Spirituality One thing that fascinates me is Patterns. When any scientist starts to see patterns in their research they know they have found something. When I look at all the great and minor spiritual practices of the world I look past the follies of the ego of man(ahem, the new testament, and well most of the bible) and try to look at the original core content and messages. Whether it is Christianity, Judaism, Islam, the Dogon from Africa, Hindu yogic practices, Buddhism, paganism, teachings of the kabbalah, the religion of ANCIENT Egypt, etc. They often repeat the same mantra. “As above, so below. As within, So without.” What does that mean. Come with me along my journey to find out!

Spirituality

One thing that fascinates me is Patterns. When any scientist starts to see patterns in their research they know they have found something. When I look at all the great and minor spiritual practices of the world I look past the follies of the ego of man(ahem, the new testament, and well most of the bible) and try to look at the original core content and messages. Whether it is Christianity, Judaism, Islam, the Dogon from Africa, Hindu yogic practices, Buddhism, paganism, teachings of the kabbalah, the religion of ANCIENT Egypt, etc. They often repeat the same mantra. “As above, so below. As within, So without.” What does that mean. Come with me along my journey to find out!

History/Civilizations/Megalithic Structures/Lost Civilizations

It seems that almost every year now, Archaeologist find something groundbreaking. Something older. Right now a few discoveries are shaking up the world of history. In turkey there is a place called Gobekli tepe. It is a megalithic site 50 times the size of Stonehenge and far far older. How old? The oldest thing we have found since the end of the ice age. This bad boy pops up right at the end of the ice age when we were still supposed to be hunters and gatherers without stone working or architectural skill, let alone the knowledge of moving stones weighing tons. But Gobekli Tepe isn't the only artifact of this field. All over Indonesia, china, the Americas we are finding sites and evidence that civilization far precedes where we believe it to. A civilization with high technology and a great understanding of cosmology and spirituality that very well may have preceded the last ice age 12,800 years ago. With many people pushing back the dates of the great pyramids and the sphinx, the evidence is rising that we are not the first incarnation of high civilization. We are just another version of human civilization and our version may not be the best.

Human Optimization, Mental/Physical

With the realization that what our school systems and government institutions have told us about health, exercise, and diet is for lack of better words. Diggity Dogshit! I am curious about how I can exercise, eat, supplement and optimize my mind and body for longevity and performance. So much emerging research and writing has been done about the right way to treat your body. We have spent most of our time in hunter gatherer groups hunting and foraging under direct sunlight for around 200,00 years or more and our post agricultural status only 5% of our collective experience. Our bodies are not designed for a post-agricultural world. Our diets and habits of sunscreen, refined grains, animal products, chemicals used outside and inside, are causing us to malfunction. We have diseases not found in the archaeological record. Diabetes is rising, cancer of all types is rising. When studied today hunter gatherers don't have things such as cancer, cavities, heart disease, diabetes at all or at the rate we do. These are modern afflictions. And we’ve been lied to. About everything. Mainly for the profit of rampant chronic capitalism. We are over stressed, over worked, mal-nourished and ignorant to the potential of a healthy body and mind. We are told we live longer. We don’t. In fact once agriculture and our brand of civilization began, we started dying at the widely quoted 35 years of age. But before that many hunter gatherer societies had members that lived into their 80’s and 90’s with vitality, mobility and health. There is a statistical anomaly that the common narrative purports about life span. What people don't understand is that there was more infant mortality back in the day. If you were in a hunter gatherer society as a child, and you weren't strong and healthy and could support the troop, you were far more likely to die. That is the only thing we have over our ancestors. Keeping babies alive. But once you survived the first few years of life, you were more likely to live to the age of 100, than we are today, than we did in medieval times.

Conclusion

All of this is very cursory and surface level discussion about such topics. But that is what my project is for. Through Photography, film, and writing I want to explore fully and deeply these topics with you. I believe if we can all come to an understanding for ourselves, and not accept what we are told by the authorities at large, we could all be healthier happier and help our species proliferate into the future.

I want to liberate people's minds from the programming of governments and scientific dogma and ego, with facts and emerging data. We have been led to believe in the idea of dog eat dog, survival of the fittest, dominance and hoarding of resources. This is only one way to run a civilization. In fact we have gathered and organized ourselves in much different manners.

I am inquisitive to why we are here, how we got here, what serves us and what no longer does. How can we optimize ourselves, the world around us and the grand architecture of this current incarnation of our beloved civilization. What are we doing well, what are we falling short on and where can we go from here.

I have come to Steemit for freedom. To Explore novel ideas into the future. Concepts that bring connection, honesty, interdependence, community, and a liberated, sovereign human beings.

I often find myself contemplating the common narrative of things. Why do you know what you know, how do you know, who told you? Who told them? Have you seen, smelt, heard, felt, and experienced said knowledge. Or do you really just have a whole bunch of rumors in your bio-computer that control your life.

Your brain is like a super computer. Loaded with all sorts of handy hardware and pre-installed software. Throughout your life you install other software through experiences, subconscious observations and conscious programming. What serves you. How is your life playing out?

I live my life by the motto. “As above, So Below. As within, So Without” Your Life reflects your inner life, your beliefs, habits and feelings. Our society reflects who we are as a conscious collective. If we are aware of theses things we can architect who we are and how we behave. We must to proliferate into the future.

I realize that I am only 24 years old and that I have much to learn. I feel that I am not the first person to in the past that have had much more synchronicity and balance with the earth and one another. I hope to burgeon a new generation of free thinkers with free renewable resources and technology who is connected and can proliferate into the future, in balance to the cosmos.

all photos are original content by yours truly.