Introduce yourself as a father: A Father's Love, Joy and Happiness

People often say that when you have a daughter as your first child, that means bad karma for the father being a playboy. In my case, it was not. My wife is my alpha and omega -- my first and last. And our first born was one of the greatest gifts I have ever received in my life.

The love of a father has somewhat been neglected oftentimes in movies and even in our society. Some people view fathers as only good providers for the family and not someone who cares. As much as we want to change that view, we could not. All we could do is to continually love our wives and our kids without anticipating any appreciation from them.

Jhad Lith, our first born was posing in front of the camera. She was seven years old when this photo was taken. Her smile made her so remarkable as it never changed until the day she died.

My Love Story

My wife and I had been college lovers. We met and studied at the same university and took the same course. She had always been so charming, intelligent, and thoughtful. And I love her for being herself all the time. I have loved her since then. We were not good friends at first and she had a bad impression about me but that did not hinder me from pursuing her. She was and still is my goal in life so I was willing to do everything for her including her paperworks in school.

We got along and dated. I spent most of my holidays with her family and celebrated the yuletide season with them.

When we had our first job, we wanted to get married soon. I was 24 years old, and Dahlia was 23 when we got married. It was a simple wedding attended by closest people in our lives on a sunny October 19. Some of our students attended included the faculty members of Kong Hua National High School.

Months after, the most awaited present come into our lives. Jhad Lith was born. When I was given a chance to hold her, she was a fine little angel sleeping in my arms. The birthmark on her chin that looked like the map of Japan made her look cuter. And the moment she opened her eyes, it was so bright -- as bright as the future I want to give to her.

My wife and I worked hard as high school teachers. We wanted to provide everything that Jhad Lith needed and wanted in life. I buy them clothes, a lot of books, and educational toys. Jhad Lith was still less than a year old when we found out that my wife was pregnant, and this time it is a baby girl too.

I watched them grow into becoming best friends. Everytime I see them, it makes me forget all the hardships that I had been through in life and the hard times that I will encounter.

My lovely kids will always be my babies

Jhad Lith has always been the bubbly little girl and Johanna Gail (@gailbelga) grew up being picky to the people that she mingles with. These two became very inseparable.

Two years after Johanna Gail was born, we had another child and it is now a baby boy. We named him Jose Alfredo after his two grandfathers.

They were just three kids but it seemed like I was in a zoo whenever Jose Alfredo starts running around inside the house. He was the trouble maker among the three.

My kids grew up and I have noticed a lot of peculiar things about them. Jhad Lith is the leader of their pack and loves to make friends with everyone. Meanwhile, Johanna is the exact opposite of her sister. She loves to be alone, plays with the dogs and cats, and makes artworks including artworks on our wall. Jose on the other hand, as I have said is very playful.

I have learned to cherish wonderful moments with the kids while they are still young despite how busy you are at work

I could not forget Johanna Gail representing their batch and singing How do you do visitor. It was so unlikely of her since she is the quite and shy type. Jose Alfredo on the other hand was the youngest in their class. He started his elementary education at the age of five years old.

I have noticed that my kids were inclined toward different things. Jhad Lith learned to walk and had her first tooth at very early age. Johanna Gail has been excelling in the field of art. Jose Alfredo on the other hand can comprehend lessons in school although he could still not write.

Strike while the iron is hot! Nurture your children while they are still young. They adopt fast like sponges when they are still little.

I have seen their potential so I did my best to develop their imprisoned potentials. Jhad Lith is a fast learner so I taught her chess and dama. She had been so bright and has always been top of the class that is why she graduated valedictorian when she was in elementary level.

I supported Johanna Gail on her passion by buying her art materials. She had always been so noisy while painting and we allowed her to. Meanwhile, Jose loves to read books with photos so we bought him a lot of story telling books.

Through the course of time, my kids had changed into adults. Johanna Gail learned to love culture and history as she was exposed to Arirang. At such young age, she became a Kpop fan. Jhad Lith on the other hand has always been the leader but she became more vocal in expressing her opinion. We were so proud of her when she got full scholarship from Xavier University for college. Jose on the other hand failed on his math subject because he never wanted to make projects for that subject. I was not frustrated at him though because he is two years younger from his batch, so upon reaching the third year in high school, he won Best in Mathematics.

I also allowed my kids to learn not just to books and school activities, but my wife and I allowed them to experience the wonders of nature, join family camps and a lot more.

They were still young when we traveled to Boracay for them to experience what it feels like to be in a tourist spot. We also got to travel to Davao, Camiguin, Zamboanga City, and a lot more. They were much eager to learn and socialize with people around them then.

Inner turmoil

All I wanted for my family especially for my kids is to experience the things that I never did when I was younger. I was so happy when they were able to go to private schools. And have good grades. We even celebrated the moments whenever they get medals after the academic year or someone from them would win in competitions. It was the first time during Gail’s first semester to be on Dean’s list so we celebrated it with the entire clan.

I love my kids so much and as their father, I always wanted what is the best for them. But there was a point in my life wherein I felt so bad in my life.

In year 2008, my eldest daughter Jhad Lith collapsed. We had her examined then and there were series of tests. Few months before that, she was operated because of a cyst found near her eye. Around September, I was the first one in the family to know that my daughter is positive of cancer. The doctor first thought of it as pimple, but it was not. I tried composing myself first before saying it to the family. I took of it as a challenge that will make our family closer to each other.

We were financially drained because of her chemotherapy and radiation treatment but despite that, I know we will be able to pass this challenge. I felt bad seeing my daughter lose her lovely hair, but I need to set aside those negative emotions.

I hold closer unto my wife when they left for Cebu City for Jhad Lith’s treatment. In the afternoon my wife called telling me my daughter needed some bags of blood. I was in a seminar at the time she called. I told my colleagues what was happening and they supported me. I do not have enough money at that time, much more I have no money to fly to Cebu as soon as possible so I went to my sister-in-law and asked for a help. Few hours after, I was already in Cebu.

It was very scary for me when the doctor told me that they needed to insert a tube on my daughter’s lungs but I hold on tight to my faith. The doctor said that my daughter could not make it, but I felt so glad that we were finally able to reach Cagayan de Oro. I always wanted to be with her and make her laugh and smile with my jokes but I have a school to run, so whenever the classes end, I would rush off to the hospital.

Few weeks after, I was with her on her death bed. It took me a lot of courage to send the news to everyone that my daughter is gone – but I really need to. It was very depressing for me of course. It does not feel good for a parent to weep over his dead child. I lose one of the treasures in my life. The sunshine of my life has passed away. I did not know what to feel, I felt so speechless whenever someone would come over me and give his or her condolences.

As a father who lost her child, it did not take me months to recover, but years. I still have my two children (and two dogs). I will show to them the love that I was also able to show to my first child. And my advice for young parents and be with your children especially in times of need. Celebrate life!