The Epiphany Of A Screw Up

My name is Alex and I have a problem.

After years of talking a big game and thinking that I am so incredibly smart, I finally reached it. Rock bottom.

I'm incredibly unreliable and irresponsible. Girls either want me as a friend or just ignore me. Suicidal thoughts pop in from time to time. And my level of laziness is almost superhuman. I basically don't do anything with my life. My résumé so far: A 24-year-old fuckup with an increasingly obvious gut.

Don't get me wrong. I still think I'm smart. My whole character is built around this thought. A weakness, I know. I'm working on it.

Something changed though. I always believed that smarts alone are enough. I believed in the myth of talent. And as time passed, slowly but surely, It dawned on me. 

It became clear as day.

My smarts. My talents. It's all one big pile of worthless bullshit. 

Why that is? It's fairly simple:

It's like science. Knowing and understanding things, that's all well and good. But it's only worth something if you put it to work. If you apply it.

They say "Knowledge Is Power". I call bullshit. 

It's the application of knowledge that holds all the power in the world.

Practicality. That is the gist. And that is exactly what I will be writing about on Steemit. 

This platform is my attempt to start over. To get my thoughts out of my head instead of letting them drive me insane. 

To avoid death by boredom for you, I will avoid something else. Something that I did so often, It almost is a hobby: bitching and whining. Based on my former believe that smarts are everything, I naturally bitched and whined a hell of a fucking lot. It makes sense. If I am so smart and smarts are everything It can't possibly be my fault that my life is a mess, can it? 

As you can vividly see: My life so far was legit bullshit artistry. Stupid thoughts beyond nature.

What's In It For You

Clarity. Based on my experience as a fuckup combined with my understanding of people - something I was interested in since I was a child - could give you a slightly different view on life. 

Don't expect watered down or romantic opinions. My thoughts often are unpopular. A mental laziness problem, I think. You might disagree. But at the end of the day that is what makes ideas interesting, isn't it?

There won't be one specific topic. Only one specific theme. Clarity.

Why Would You Care?

I gave you a short description of my fuckup of a life. Naturally you might think "Why would I care reading more of this?"

Good question. 

I won't try to persuade you. I won't say please. It's a gamble, with your time being the bet. 

My only hope is, that it is at least possible that you can take away something practical for your life from the stuff I write about

Then - and only then -  It will be a fair deal:

Me getting clarity and progress by finally dealing with my thoughts on (virtual) paper.

You getting a different, a practical outlook on the problems you face. The only thing I really know a bit about.

Let's find out where all this leads us, shall we?..