TORtalks, rants from a modern Norwegian VikingsteemCreated with Sketch.

in #introducemyself8 years ago

And so it begins...

Hey! My name is Tor, a 31 year old, single, depressed, homeless, ADD rocket, and then some! Norwegian modern Viking, born and raised at the artic circle, polution free skies with the northern lights dancing through the night. I recommend experiancing it in real life!

So with that said, Im at the point "in for a penny in for a pound" in my life and writing. TORtalks isnt going to be very "P-C"politically correct, censored or professional. It`s just "my talks", how I have managed to stay the fuck alive against some pretty bad odds at times.

Let me illustrate my 2016 through the expression of a kid waiting for shit to happen.

TORtalks

As you can see, things are clearly not getting any better.

I cant wait to see what decembers gonna look like.

Let`s just hope that this little guy is OK and that there will be a soft landing for me too after I geet my ass out of this shit slide.

Im actually somewhat "OK" with status quo at the moment, Ive set the bar lower and lower over the years, and this year especially has been rough. Growing CC debt, nucklearplant piece of shit laptop on a leash that needs to be handled with a full thermalsuit, in order not to get third, fourth or fifth degree burns or radiation. Living on benefits, correction barely existing on benefits...

Currently I am sleeping in my brothers livingroom on a crappy backbreaking mattress, and not having any solutions in sight for the near future. Thankful for having a roof over my head, don`t get me wrong. However a little privacy and a shitdungeon I could call my Castle would have been better. Atleast it would be mine.

Long story short, I have had 5 episodes with severe depression this year alone where each episode has been harder, longer and more despearing if possible. Im kinda always depressed so I know how it works and aware enough that I can control it, but this year with the intensity ramping up I have had to well basicly come to terms with life, good and bad. Each time I decide that this version of me is weak and has to die, or be buried. I know sounds dramatic, but when you belive in evolution you gotta accept the fact that the world isnt gonna change for me, or anyone else for that matter. I have to adapt to the world, to the reality I am facing on a daily basis.

I decided to let go of my appartment and lease or buy an RV to cut costs and ignite my lust for life, exploration and be me, alone and free from facebook and all of these stealthy time thiefs. Weeell misfortune has it, this back fired, hence the current limbo and backpains. I couldn`t finance fuck all because of my bad credit, unfortunately no silver spoons to be fed from either. That was a hard blow, having a plan to cut costs, doing all the right things live more for LESS and STILL not a snowballs chance in hell.

Ive come to terms with the situation and after a couple of weeks away from facebook, just to clear my head, I came across SteemIt after researching another Hail Mary project I could piss away some more money I dont have, to try and get myself out of this mess. I like the consept, and above all I could actually share my story, and earn a little spending money, get a new laptop in the process if I manage to provide you guys with some honest, relatable perhaps thoughts I have made during these years living with depression, loneliness, ADD, sleep disorders, eating disorder, heavy duty knock a horse on it`s ass medication, and just life you know.

Despite all the shit that is going on in the world and in life, I have managed to keep a sense of humor. "Galgen humor" the Norwegian term for dark humor. When you got that rope around your neck waiting to swing in the gallow, you better pull some lifesaving funny shit out of your ass to save the day. I`ve spent 5-6 days now just trying to get my ass sat down and write an introduction, but it rarely is as easy as "Just do it" as the Nike ads say. I have pretty bad ADD, ADHD so forgive my impulsive writing here, I just had to get started with the first post and make my "real" posts a little better structured.

I will be talking in detail about alot of stuff that you just might relate to, Im a metapforical wizard, also an aquired survival skill, to put whatever hurts in other words if you know what I mean. If you have ADD, eating disorder, depression, lonely, drugged out of your mind over the counter, under the counter no matter. We all struggle at times, some just got a shitty set of cards to begin with, some didnt, some folded when they shouldnt have and some went all in and won big. I love to hear peoples life stories, put things into perspective. So I hope I can share my two cents on life as it were with you guys. Hell I might get some friends out of this, and a raging lunatic of a woman that wouldnt mind showing me her boobs after finding out just how disturbed I am.

So if you would like to hear where this craytrain has derailed along the line follow me @TORtalks vote, resteem, comment, tell me your story and let`s see if we can rattle the stigma of all these dark demons we all wrestle with.

Im just freestyling on the fly here, so you get the gist of it and introduce myself. Ill try to stick with one topic at the time so it would be somewhat comprehensible for others to read, not just dear diary. I dont dare to predict how often I will be posting, sticking at it isnt my strong suit unless it weed, booze or poor decisions... So be sure to follow me if you don`t want to miss my past, present and future interpretations on life.

I`ll share my demons, bring awareness to mental health.
If I manage to wield this sharp sword of dark comedy properly, people shouldn`t be afraid to click vote/like/share. It should never be so dark that somebody is afraid to show people, that they got something from what I wrote, that they could relate, or show someone and say "what this guy said, I feel just like that". Scariest thing in the world is to show weakness, that makes you vulnerable for whatever you might fear.

Aaaand in closing argument your Honour, humor and oddly enough even with the lack of it, love. These are the two assets I have always managed to retain.

dead-inside

Current status:

When you are dead on the inside, but still want to spread a little hapiness :)

Time for the Jury to deliberate if this is something you guys might like :)

TORtalks out.

Sort:  

Welcome to Steemit! I understand how life can get you down sometimes! I went through a terrible spell myself not too long ago...that's how my blog www.choosejoy.co was born! That heartbreaking time catapulted me into a writing career. I'm now an award winning author and public speaker. So chin up, take heart, and choose joy. Life will get better because the hard times are opportunties.

Thank you @rebeccamorgan ! I am pretty eager to get familiar with the platform, and see if I can find a safe haven to share a little of this and that from my life. Its been a long spell for sure, but through all this adversity something good will be waiting down the line, I hope :) I dont know if a writing career is imminent for me, but I hope I can share a little and it connects with whoever has the same issues to deal with.
That is awesome that you managed to turn it around, I went to your website, great job there!
Remains to be seen if this Hail mary SteemIt project is the one that I am looking for. Just got startedso time and effort will tell ;)
Thanks again for the support! I hope you`re having a fulfilling wednesday! :)

Welcome to steemit, I am also going through a crisis often, I see yours are more tough with the homelessness... :(... I hope you find support at steemit... I upvoted and resteemed.

Steem on!

Lasse

Hi @lasseehlers, arent we all. The crisis is always relative to the person who experiances it. Yeah I took a chance and uprooted a liiittle too much and fast before I had somewhere to grow new ones ;) Thanks, I havent been excited about much lately so this was a welcomed change of pace. Not too many solutions laying around so this might be one, might not. I might find a few friends along the way and hopefully share some ill gotten wisdom. I might be a genius or I might be a nutter, this is where you guys come in and tells me to seek help or damn this guy finally got it :) Keep in touch!

You are in the right place with steemit, alot of good people here... there are no magical solutions, but I saw other homeless people have success on steemit... another related story:one guy was working with making food for homeless, took a photo of it and wrote the story, alot upvoted. and now the steemtwins got donation for food to homeless... I recommend the Steemit.chat (steemprentice group I use alot), as a good place to get to know more and ask questions...

Steem on!

Lasse

I hope so, using whatever brainpower thats left to get the grip on this forreign platform, but Im absorbing it little by little :) Not really relying on this to be my saving grace, but a forum where I can have some sort of positive outlet.
Thanks for the tips, I have joined some channels already. Gotta call it quits for tonight though, early morning and a dentist appointment, but that`s a story for a different post ;)

Thanks again Lasse! Steem on to Steam off hehe

Welcome to Stemmit. I hope your life takes a turn for the better soon!

Thanks @valth not to worry, Ive been through enough that I know eventually somethings gotta give ;)

I set this post to 100% Power Up, I aim to stay here for the long haul if I can get some feedback on what I write is worthwhile reading. The format of this first post got a little garbled up, posts in the future will be more thought out.
I look forward to getting to know you guys and contribute to the community.

Welcome to Steemit! There is lots to see, do and learn here! Airing out your thoughts can be a good thing at times. Best wishes.

Thanks @barrydutton !
Absolutely, can't wait to see how this unfolds!

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.16
TRX 0.15
JST 0.028
BTC 56162.63
ETH 2368.26
USDT 1.00
SBD 2.31