3 WEEKS, 300 FOLLOWERS: ANYONE CAN STEEMIT. (PART 1)

My first intro at 100 followers really didn't say much. This will be more intimate. I am about to share details that are probably going to be somewhat shocking and disturbing to some readers. If you don't like true life grit, please move on at this time. That's fine. In my experience, there are three general responses I get from people:

1. They will never accept me and don't want anything to do with me.
2. They are cautious, with good reason, until they get to know me (this is the majority of people).
3. They're a bleeding heart and just accept me without reservation.

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Write my story...
In my case, that's a very tall order! Let me start in the middle...

When I was 20 years-old (1993), I was arrested and charged with Aggravated Assault, Attempted Murder, and Burlary1. I was guilty. It was ugly and it was messy. I had nearly killed a man. When I left him, lying in a pool of his own blood, I did not know if he was going to live, or not. If you have never been involved in a real fight for your life, let's just say that killing another man is nothing like you've seen on TV or in the movies. It's messier, it's more brutal, it's far more terrifying, and it carries the most severe repercussions. I puked all over myself shortly after leaving the scene. It was a deeply disturbing experience. It was also a very cowardly act on my part.

Right here, most people interject a very strong thought and/or opinion. I would urge you to hold on to your questions and judgements at this time. It tends to get in the way of receiving information objectively.

Why did I do this? This man was almost a stranger to me, I had only met him a couple of days before. He did nothing to me which would have been considered especially offensive. I had no previous history of violence or any criminal record or arrests. I wasn't drunk, using any drugs, or ever considered to be a rough or bad type of person by anyone. In fact, I was an all-around, all-American kid who had just about everything going for me. At least, it appeared that way from the outside looking in.

Truth is, I was an extremely troubled young man. I've heard all kinds of explanations and theories about it, but the short answer is: "Madness." Mental illness. Extremely emotionally disturbed. Trying to understand what really causes psychotic behavior in an individual usually raises just as many questions as it answers. In time, I discovered the answers to my own questions - but I don't expect my questions and answers are the same as everyone else's. It's a combination of several factors. It's a unique thing as well - in the sense that different people react to things in different ways. What one person expereinces as extremely painful or upsetting might not even get another persons' attention. Simply put - it's Madness - so don't waste too much time trying to figure out or understand it. You might find what you're looking for, and that's not always a good thing.

So, after 11 days I was arrested, booked, caught, incarcerated. I had no idea how long that was going to be for. I just knew it was going to be very, very bad. Let's just say that anyone who's been incarcerated before can tell you exactly the same thing - each day seems like an eternity when your entire future hangs in an uncertain balance.

After 9 months in jail and 6 days at trial, let me share some of the judges' remarks from my sentencing hearing:
"Mr. Wiseman: I could have sent you to prison for 22 - 24 years, even with this being your first offence. Instead, I hereby remand you to the custody of the Oregon Psychiatric Security Review Board for a period of not less than 60 years - because it is a longer period of time. And, I am sending them a personal letter which recommends they keep you locked up for the maximum amount of time. I believe you are one of the most dangerous individuals who has ever come through my courtroom."

Now, who still thinks that an insanity defence can be characterized as "getting off easy?" It wasn't even my idea - it was my lawyers'. Here's how he put it to me, "It's about a 1 out of 300 shot. The chances are not good. But, I think it might work in your case - and, earlier in my career, I used to work in the same law office as this judge, so I know how they think."

Keep in mind, this lawyer was the senior partner of a HUGE law-firm. For whatever reason, he took a personal interest in representing my case. He wanted to go to trial. The Distrct Attorney wanted to hang me - they never even offered me any kind of a plea-bargain. They were seeking prison time, with an upward departure from the sentencing guidelines. Worst-case scenario: 22 - 24 years in prison. Best-case scenario: 60 years in the State Hospital.

That was... 24 years ago. Today, I am living in the community. Last Memorial Day, I celebrated my 1-year wedding anniversiary.
I own my own place - no mortgages. I have 2 dogs. No children. And I'm in less than $3,000 debt. Best of all, I found my answers. I found my way back to health and life.

Are you still here? See - I TOLD YOU: ANYONE CAN STEEMIT. ANYONE.

There's a LOT more to the story. Please stay tuned for PART 2...