How I Overcame Social Anxiety, and How you can too!

in #intoduceyourself7 years ago

Hello!
Here's an introduction for those of you who don't know me yet.
I am 20 years old, majoring in Kinesiology at Temple University in Philadelphia.

FB_IMG_1463688493743.jpg

t.png

I am a nationally qualified powerlifter and certified personal trainer.

libertybell_022517-403.jpg

I have an amazing girlfriend, I have great friends, I can talk to almost anyone and anytime, and even work as a waiter for a drive-in restaurant during the summer. Most importantly I am very optimistic about my future and where my life is headed.

Screen Shot 2017-06-22 at 17.38.43.png

Now wait a minute!
I thought this article was about social anxiety

I'm getting there don't worry!
Rewind 4 years and you have a very different person.
I'm 16 and in high school, I have 2 friends, I'm 110 pounds soaking wet, I can't even think about talking to people I don't know let alone if they're girls, I sweat every time I have to do anything out of my comfort zone, and I'm too scared to even call and order a pizza. I hated my life, and the thought of my future only brought on more anxiety. How was I ever going to learn how to talk to people?

Quite a different picture isn't it

Now how could I possibly have gone from that to where I am today?

The Start of Something Better

My final semester of high school is really where my life started to turn around for the better. I was lucky enough to attend a retreat called Kairos where you and a group of students basically spend a few days sharing every detail about yourselves and bonding. The amazing people in my group quite literally changed my life. They showed me that I was awesome in my own way, I didn't need to be like everyone else to be cool. I had my own stuff going for me and I needed to focus on that in order to see how amazing I could really be. Now, this sounds very obvious, but before this point, I could only ever see the terrible parts of myself. I was small, pale, awkward, quiet, and no one knew my name. This all made me feel so worthless that hearing friends actually acknowledge who I was and say that they were happy to know me and have me was actually LIFE CHANGING and I will forever be grateful to these people even though we don't talk anymore, unfortunately.
I was so happy and empowered after this experience I made it my sole mission from this point to destroy my social anxiety and be the person I wanted to be. I began seeking out every way to prove to myself that I was valuable. I saw how much these people proving that to me did, but I didn't want to rely on other people. I needed to show myself that I was valuable and didn't need to fear others opinions.
Screen Shot 2017-06-22 at 18.17.52.png

Step 1
I say this often when I say it and I truly and honestly believe it every time.
Fitness has changed my freaking life!!!!
I was so lucky to be introduced to such a wonderful part of life. Nothing gives me more confidence than seeing myself constantly progress and become a better version of myself than I was the week before. I used to be interested in bodybuilding where seeing your body grow larger and more aesthetic becomes addicting. Now I'm a powerlifter and grow stronger and stronger to move the heaviest weights possible. I have also made it my mission to grow as knowledgeable as possible on all things fitness and health related. I love reading research and debating others on health related topics. It is my wholehearted belief that you can't beat science. But, anyways how does this relate to social anxiety. It was all about seeing the value in myself. Once I saw that this was something I was good at, and I got into pretty good shape it served as a constant reminder of the value I carry as a person.
Here's a transformation of what I used to look like vs. what I look like now.
Then
Screen Shot 2017-06-22 at 18.02.05.png
Now
Screen Shot 2017-06-20 at 10.48.10.png

Step 2
I'm a true believer in constantly learning and growing more knowledgeable. Right now for me, my focus is on educating myself on investing, real estate, cryptocurrency, finance and all things money related. I don't want to lead an average life and am doing my best to learn about many different avenues to financial freedom. Seeing myself grow in this regard has given me so much damn confidence. I know that I'm more knowledgeable than most at my age which sets me up to be successful in the future. Believing I will be successful has been key to me building confidence and respect for myself.

fuck-average-t-shirts-men-s-muscle-t-shirt.jpg

Putting my newfound confidence in action
The only way to truly and fully overcame social anxiety in social situations is to face your fears. My first semester of college I literally forced myself to sit next to girls even though it made me want to throw up, I forced myself to talk to people at parties, I made friends at the gym, It started out very rough but honestly has made my life 1000% better. I met my girlfriend this year, and can honestly say without these experiences and all that I've learned through overcoming this I don't think I'd be lucky enough to have her. She has only made me more confident as a constant reminder that someone values me and loves me. Not gonna make this post too sappy though so I'll leave it there. Main point is once you add value to yourself in your own eyes, use it to force yourself out of your comfort zone because that's where you truly grow.

Summary
If I could give someone one tip on how to overcome social anxiety it would be to improve yourself in every way possible to prove to yourself the value that you bring to the world. Once you know that you are valuable, you will be significantly less concerned about what everyone else thinks about you. I've adopted an I don't give a f$%k mentality because of this, and it lets me enjoy my life a whole hell of a lot more. If you truly don't give a FUCK what anyone thinks then that's when your truly living. Take it from me I used to be scared to tell someone my name, now I say and do what makes me truly happy. It's worth the fear and discomfort believe me it truly is.

Thank you so much for reading. I put hours into these posts and it's kinda disheartening when no one sees them, but I'm gonna stick with it in case I can help one person like me who needs to hear this. Leave me comment and let me know what you think if you made it this far!!! I love hearing feedback.

Sort:  

Hi Kyle,

It's great to have you on Steemit!

Nice to meet you!

don't give a f$%k mentality , that the way of grow in life :) Thanks for sharing you story with us !

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.16
TRX 0.15
JST 0.029
BTC 58075.38
ETH 2463.77
USDT 1.00
SBD 2.38