How did I end up in this mess? I'm sitting in the bus from Kuala Lumpur Airport to KL Sentral and all I can think about is how I managed to lose €300,- in a couple of days. I'm staring outside. Cars are passing by. I focus my eyes on the raindrops that slide down from the window. And I notice all the big billboards down the road. I ask myself: "Do these advertisement messages actually make an impact on people to buy all the shit they don't need?

A smile appears on my face: "What a mad world we live in."

This city feels like a distant cousin I have no real connection with. And I never really liked staying here for too long. It makes me start questioning humanity and the way we lost touch with nature. I start thinking about all the people that are going to there shitty jobs day in and day out to buy things they don't need. All the people walking around knowing they have so much more potential. How money controls us. And how we link our success to the amount of money we have in our bank accounts.

One of my favorite movies from the Matrix. “You didn’t come here to make the choice, you’ve already made it. You’re here to try to understand why you made it.” – Oracle (The Matrix – 1999)

I look to the right and see my favorite number 333 on a license plate. And the moment I look up and see the following Pandora advertisement with the magical words: Can you see the magic? So, Is this the start where I welcome magic back into my life?

This week has been pretty intense, to say the least. I came to Indonesia to find ways to extend my stays. To find a way to live here. To follow my dreams and bliss and to connect with nature. But this money blockage has been a pain in the ass. The funny thing about all of this is that I have been preaching about the power of the word not realizing that I was attracting 'bullshit' money problems into my life.

Yesterday I felt the earth moving beneath my feet. The ATM made an awful sound and gave me the following words on the screen: unreachable amount. How? I was sure I still could get €200,- from my credit card account. My account told me something different and I already had a gut feeling something was not right. I accidentally paid for a membership for a tutorial website to get more into front end developing. Little did I know I was too late to cancel that membership. So they took the money from my account.

I went home and started crying my eyes out. A few days before I had to pay a fine for late tax registration. Own fault ofcourse but this was all terrible 'timing.' Besides that, I still have to wait 20 more days to get money from my from my freelance job into my PayPall account. The thoughts just didn't stop and my tears kept on flowing. 'Holy shit is this all happening.'

I pulled myself together. "Just breath, it will be alright."

I made my way to a friend to keep myself sane. All I could think of was "How did I end up in a foreign country with no money to even buy a ticket back to The Netherlands. 'Just relax Jess, sometimes we have to surrender and feel grateful for the lessons the Universe is giving to us. Be happy that you can learn a lesson from all of this.' he said. 5 minutes later a woman walks up to me. She looks a bit ashamed, wants to ask something but seems scared. A young boy gives her some money. Without any hesitation, I pick up my wallet to give her some too. She smiles at us and walks out of the restaurant. A minute later I start crying. I don't even know how it feels to go out on the street to find money. I don't even know how it feels to go to bed with an empty stomach. I don't even know how it feels to provide for a family. I was totally focused on the wrong things. Forgetting the bigger picture. That to always walk in faith.

Life is happening for us not against us

I always believe that life is happening for us not against us. And I had to remind myself that even things seem extremely challenging. Things happen for a reason. The more I tried to control my money situation. The more stagnant energy I attracted into my life. Things will not flow naturally because I was not able to see all the blessings life has been given to me.

Living my dream

As I'm writing this i'm sitting on a plane back to (Bali) the Island of Gods. Living my dream. I remember like it was yesterday when I went to Indonesia as a 15- year-old. I was already telling myself that there would be a day that I would find a way to live on the island. 10 years later I'm doing all of it. And even though it is challenging at times. I don't want it any other way. I rather live my life from the heart than settle down for anything less than my heart desires. I rather keep on living my dreams taking risks than to keep on living in fear. There is only one life to live...

And the path is the goal.
This moment our playground.

P.s. I get the €200,- back! And I'm one lesson richer. Never forget to Practice gratitude - that's the right atitude.

About Little Rebel Buddha:

What an exciting time to be alive today. The world is waking up. Many of us are going through a spiritual awakening and realize our potential as spiritual beings. Little Rebel Buddha is dedicated to individuals on their way to the road of self-discovery. May we all rise. May we all reclaim the power to align with Spirit. http://www.littlerebelbuddha.com

Want to vibe some more?
http://www.facebook.com/littlerebelbuddha
http://www.instagram.com/littlerebelbuddha
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdB0wyBGJp3e2r335euSFbw

And don't forget to hit that follow and upvote button ;)