ANGER

So today I had a random day and been thinking about a whole lot of things, my life , my family and so I had to just fix some plans in my mind and concluded I am always going to keep working hard and never relent. My mum got back from work (as usual) this evening and she started a hot discussion from how my younger sister has not passed her jamb well to qualify admission to study law which she wanted, and then I wanted but she used to say “lawyers go to hell “ go to science class and become a medical doctor”. She went on saying a lot and my younger sister was rude to me alongside and it became hot really as I overreacted and spill out stuffs I am not supposed to. I referred my mom to her old days and how she failed to have me for a responsible father and all sorts and how she says too much of old issues and how she always blame me for making her loan from cooperative to send me to the university (state University)(expensive) when am supposed to be in the polytechnic where i left without completing my OND before I got admission to study in the university and not even a course(medicine) that she wants. And I really hurt her with all that rubbish, she dealt with me with throwbacks and hits with her shoes 👠 and lots. I thought of it and had to apologize solely and passionately, I thought of it immediately and I regret it and I wouldn’t want my child in the future do such to me . Anger got me stupid. Thinking about my mom, Iyatope has been a good woman to me, rare gem and of great inspiration to my life whether we fight or not, close or far. I love her.. My knee hurts seriously right now cause of the hits and she has forgiven me but I will bear the pain until next tomorrow or more and even deep down in my heart , I feel silly and I can’t stop asking God to forgive me, my mouth and save me from Anger. I have a poem in written down in my diary about a month ago and it revolves around Anger. Anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong. Anger can be a good thing. It can give you a way to express negative feelings, for example, or motivate you to find solutions to problems. But excessive anger can cause problems. The Nature of Anger
Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage," according to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.
Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.
Expressing Anger
The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.
On the other hand, we can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.
People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.
Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn't allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward—on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.
Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships.
Finally, you can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.
As Dr. Spielberger notes, "when none of these three techniques work, that's when someone—or something—is going to get hurt." Oni Pelumi http://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control.aspx