They say the longest journey you will ever take is from your head to your heart. And as a current traveler of this road, I concur.
When you were a child, did you ever encounter a time where a parent or peer told you that your dreams and passions wouldn't make you any money or wouldn't bring you happiness? Did you follow your passion anyway?
Have you ever wanted to take a risk so badly but were too afraid you would lose (quite possibly) everything in order to do it? Or maybe instead, you did take that risk. What happened if you did?
It took quite a few big mistakes like these to eventually learn that giving my heart what it yearns for is crucially important for the life I desire. This, of course, is not always easy. However, I've come to find it's the only thing that has gotten me to where I want to be in life.
Through years of trial and error, I have learned to listen closely to what my heart is telling me. And I follow it as if it were an actual person whispering, "this way, this way!" When my heart tells me to jump, I jump with every fiber of my being. I ask no questions. And some people find this strikingly odd because safety clearly has it's benefits. But safety has never given me what I truly yearn for; growth, excitement, and love. I've spent my twenties tasting the pleasures that life has to offer, and no matter how risky something may seem, I refuse to cut my life force energy off in the name of fear.
I'm not saying that when you follow your heart you won't get hurt. More than likely it will happen. In my experience, life will test you often to see how much you truly want something.
I remember the first time I followed my heart. It was so loud that I couldn't ignore it. And I sold all of my belongings to move into a tiny trailer with a man a barely knew, and we fell deeply in love as we traveled around the country together. My heart however, was never leading me to a life with this man. Instead it as leading me to a passion I had not yet found and career I could make out of it with the help of plant medicine. It was during this time that I first met Ayahuasca, and I honestly had absolutely no idea that this medicine would change the whole course of my life's path.
Not long after my first experience with Ayahuasca, my heart told me to jump again because the relationship I was in was extremely unhealthy, not only for me but for him as well. I had learned to listen to my heart at this point, but I was so scared because I was jumping into the unknown, and I was jumping into the unknown with no money. For months I suffered as I tried to get back on my feet again. There were many tears and many sleepless nights, but I made it through. I was persistent. And I truly believe because of the fact that I have listened to my heart, I was rewarded.
This year, I was able to make my way to Peru to start my apprenticeship and I'll be able start helping others heal and find their true potential by next year. And I will do whatever it takes to turn this into reality. By doing what I love, I hope to inspire and awaken the hearts of others.
I have had to overcome major obstacles. I had to learn how to ignore bad advice from friends and relatives. I've endured hunger, I've endured poverty, I've endured failure. But the one thing I have not endured on the risky and exciting journey of trusting my heart... is regret.
I used to be scared of flying on planes. I am now a frequent flyer.
I used to be scared of living in a different state. I now live in a different country.
I used to be scared of crowds. I now speak in front of them.
I used to be scared of being alone. I have spent 3 months of my life in total isolation in the middle of the Amazon jungle.
I used to be scared of getting hurt. I now fully embrace it.
I used to be scared. And I can't say that anymore because of the simple fact that I listen to what my heart is saying. And the more I listen, the more experiences I encounter that change my perception of the way I see the world and the way I see myself. I believe what the heart truly desires and leads us to are experiences to help us learn, grow, and to truly, fully, love.