In Kundalini yoga a cold morning shower is part of daily sadhana. I am sure that all of what you are experiencing here is part of the reasoning for that. I've never tried one. I hate to be uncomfortable. I'm going through a time right now where I'm really facing the fear I've held in my heart and realizing how much is there and how vulnerable I always feel. (Maybe it's time for that cold shower after all. :) ) I appreciate your declaration to be completely raw. That's what I appreciate and think is the most beautiful thing in life, and that's the kind of teacher I am.