NO. I refuse to leave this wilderness until God gives me a SIGN.
I am in the wilderness, and I have sworn an oath to stay here until I receive a sign from the Lord.
Yet another night in the arms of insomnia and now I am standing here in the wilderness wrapped in fatigue’s shaky embrace.
I don’t remember how I got here.
I was lying in bed staring at all the faces in the ceiling waiting for dawn to come knocking, and then I blinked, and I was here.
Staring at trees in nature's great hall of fear and trembling in the middle of nowhere.
Everything is fine.
Everything is not fine.
I'm tired. I see spots. I'm so tired. Things are moving around, floating in front of me ignoring the laws of physics, you need to focus.
What? No, don't be silly. I am 100% stable. This is not what mental illness looks like — I am simply tormented by a demon. LOL! My psychologist says I'm nuts but what does she know? There is a higher truth here. And they can only force-feed me those little white pills for so long.
I went to an exorcist but he was powerless to cast out the demon. We even had a whole drove of pigs on standby in case the demon needed something else to possess, but no dice, man, no dice. The pigs are fine. And the demon is still with me.
Did I say demon? I meant demons, plural, because apparently there are more than one. A lot more. A legion, I think? I don't know how many a legion is.
They tell me to do things!
But they did not tell me to go into the wilderness.
I’m here of my own 100% mentally stable volition. Right? Right. I’m here in the woods in the middle of nowhere because … because …
Why am I here again?
…
Oh yeah, I'm here because I’m waiting for the Lord to speak and give me a sign. Yes, that's it!
And I know he will speak, eventually. His is a different voice. I have faith.
Right now my faith is still too small to move that mountain you see up there ^^.
But I’m working hard, staying strong, and pretty soon I'm sure I'll level up to mustard seed. Just gotta give it time.
My faith might be small, but at least it's steady like this rock.
I was half expecting to find an image of Jesus or something on that rock. But I guess it's not the sign I'm waiting for. I must be patient. There is still time but it is running out.
They told me I’m going to die someday, and that for all intents and purposes that will be the end, lights out forever, game over. They said that this tiny little handful of animated universe I'm holding will return to the dust whence it came someday, and that it will just sit there in silence being dust for a few million years, and that someday some other form of life will require my dust and so it will be reanimated and taken up by another hand.
But that’s crazy talk. I know I’m going to live forever! There is an afterlife, and there is a God, and He will make my demons go away. I just have to wait on the Lord and know that everything works out for the good of those who —
Oh, I seem to have stumbled across some kind of road.
The middle of nowhere isn't supposed to have roads.
Wait, is that a sign?
A sign!
It says STOP.
Just stop?
Stop and what, God? Smell the roses? There are no roses here.
Stop, drop, and roll? Nor is there fire, unless you’re talking about the wildfire raging in my mind.
Stop, be still, and know that I am God.
God? Is that really you?
Yes.
Well it's about time. I've been going absolutely nuts out here all by myself, waiting for a sign, and —
You are missing the forest for the trees, my child. Stop trying so hard to exist, and simply exist.
Oh.
…
WOW that’s deep! Thanks, God!
You're welcome.
I do have one question, though.
Go ahead.
Is that really God talking, or is that my demons?
This is definitely God. I wouldn’t lie to you about that, would I, my child?
No, I suppose not.
So I can go home now?
Yes, my child.
Cool, thanks.
Oh, one more thing.
What's that?
It's time to wake up, Brandt.
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That was really powerful, mate. Glad you shared.
Thank you kindly! 'Twas fun to write. Glad you liked it.
Excellent work! Thanks for your efforts to found and made these beautiful shots.
You are most welcome. Someone has to write about dreaming about wandering into the wilderness in search of enlightenment, after all, so it might as well be me!