Conclusive: Epstein Killed By Magic Bullet

That's right folks, while all the conspiracy terrorists out there have been asking dumb questions like “how was it possible that this was even allowed to happen” or “who are the people connected to Epstein and was he connected to any intelligence agencies” our upstanding and extremely honest MSM propagandists journalists who have never ever lied about anything, ever, have been doing their best to avoid asking any of those ridiculous questions and to steer their targeted audience away from any retarded conspiracy theories being thrown about by those nasty evil domestic terrorists, so we can all rest easy, phew.

I can exclusively reveal shocking new evidence that I have been given, by extremely reliable sources, Al-Qaeda the White Helmets, who just so happened to be in the right place at the right time to capture this incredible photo, can we all just take a moment to thank our moderate head chopping Oscar winning terrorist rebel friends who have been honestly reporting from inside Syria ever since our loving and caring war criminal governments generously began funding them with your tax money.

As this 100% genuine photograph shows, Epstein clearly killed himself by positioning himself in the book depository window from where he proceeded to fire a magic bullet into his cell, the magic bullet then penetrated the back of his own head which violently threw his head backwards and to the left as obviously happens when shooting oneself in the back of the head with magic bullets, the science has been settled on that one so don't let any conspiracy terrorists tell you otherwise.

So there it is folks, conclusive proof that there is absolutely nothing to see here so lets all just move on and forget any of this ever happened, what's that over there?! The Russians are hacking our democracy and the Iranians are doing evil nasty stuff, oh my God, quick, lets go focus all our attention over there.