Incredible You! The Killing Of Nigel

Meet Nigel, he's the one when things go awry, who pops up to tell me that I can't do it. Nigel is a downer, he always sees the worst in a situation, he trusts nobody.

Nigel's there when I'm trying something new, asking me why I'm even bothering. He loves telling me to give up because something's too hard.

Poor old Nigel, he is always looking for someone or something else to blame. It is the world's fault and not his, Nigel is full of bitter resentment for a life unaccomplished.

Generating Doubt

Nigel loves whispering in my ear, telling me I'm no good at this or that. He loves feeling superior to people, especially when there is something he can do and others can't.

But poor, poor Nigel, he takes failure to heart, the elation he feels from success, can never match the depths of despair he encounters when he fails.

Nigel never learns from his mistakes, because he hates even thinking about them. They are too painful, as they are a reminder of his less than perfect nature.

Better then to shy away from activities that may cause him to fail. Best to stay fixed to one idealogical point in time, than to attempt to grow and risk failure.

Nigel coulda been a contender, he loves to boast about how he could have been the best at . . . if only he could have been bothered to try.

I Nigel

Nigel always hid from me, he managed to talk through me, as if he were me. But then one day, I read a book, the book told me that the voice I was hearing was just my fixed mindset, the book told me to give it a name.

The book Mindset, by Dr. Carol Dweck has changed my outlook on life so much so, that I try and impart its knowledge anytime I can.

Part of Dweck's advice, is to give your fixed mindset a name. That way, you can tell when it is speaking, you know because it is usually telling you to stop trying.

Once I gave it a name, I realised how I had been holding myself back by trying to insulate myself from failure. Saying that I wanted to learn, but not doing anything about it, because I wanted to be the best at what ever I did.

This is at the heart of the message of the Mindset book. A growth mindset is one whereby you are constantly looking to improve and grow as a person.

Within the growth mindset failure is an opportunity to learn. Mistakes are always analysed, and skills are something you acquire and develop.

As far as Nigel is concerned, you've either got it, or you haven't, end of . . .

The Melding Of The Nigel

When I first learned of Nigel's existence, I hated him; how dare he hold me back all these years, and when the hell did I let him into my head?

However I soon learned to accept Nigel, now when he rears his ugly head. I quietly tell him to take a step back, and realise that he is a part of me, but is no longer in charge.

Nigel will probably never completely go away, he is always there, waiting in the background for the a moment of uncertainty, when he can pounce on my fears.

Nigel is there whispering right now, telling me to stop writing this because nobody wants to read about him.

Shhhhhhh, there, there Nigel, take a step back, by exposing you, I am showing the Steemians they have nothing to fear from their own version of Nigel.

I am exposing you, because a version of you lives in almost every human being on the planet.

So Nigel, sit back and watch as I take on new challenge after new challenge. Take a back seat as I analyse my mistakes and failures, and learn from them.

Now watch me live an incredible life with no regrets!

R.I.P Nigel, you won't be missed

DO YOU HAVE YOUR OWN NIGEL? THAT FIXED MINDSET PART OF YOU THAT TELLS YOU NOT TO TRY, TELLS YOU YOU ARE EITHER GREAT OR TERRIBLE? WHAT AREAS OF LIFE ARE YOU GROWTH MINDED, AND WHAT AREAS ARE YOU FIXED MINDED? AS EVER, LET ME KNOW BELOW!

Cg