We know being "mean" is no good. Then why?

If you are one of those rare people that never got into a nightclub, you got a homework assignment. Go to a "High fly" one: Pure in Vegas, Bijou in Boston..., experience the madness.

Notice the high value women a.k.a very hot ones, the ones that take your breath away. Try to talk to them. Most likely you get blown off (if you're the average dude). They are rarely alone. Why would they? The club is a place for fun but is very hostile to them. A high value woman will likely reject more than a hundred dudes.

What’s the blueprint for a girl to have fun at the club?

One, to blow off any guy by default and only talk to her friends or workers at the club, (bouncers, bar tenders…). The experienced ones, act “bitchy”, super mean, to anybody she doesn’t want to talk to. That’s their only shield, again in this intended fun but hostile environment.

For instance, I use to joke with my female friends of how creepy “Hide and Hump” must be. A guy moving from the back of a girl then cowardly doing a grinding dance before getting rejected and pushed back. Visualize it. It is not pretty.

Dude, don’t “Hide and Hump” at the club.

Imagine if she was nice, talking to everybody, guys would swarm around her, all her chances to have to fun would vanish, her night ruined. To test this, ask any hot women whether “guys act weird around them” (overt sneaky niceness), you get a resounding "Yes".

Extend this mentality or situation and you see it with rich people. Sometimes being rich makes you paranoid, because a bunch of people would swarm around you, acting like parasites (slimes...), ready to suck you out by all means, again overt niceness, favors, attention and all of these to get something in return. They will vehemently guilt-trip, apply any nasty passive aggressive tactics to put you under-obligations.

Again for the rich, sometimes the only recourse become ignoring, avoiding, doing anything to isolate themselves from those slimy people. The safest strategy therefore is to only talk and interact with those similar to you or those you know and avoid anything foreign or needy.

Extend this trend of thought, and you can start to understand why some people in some countries are afraid or don’t want immigrants in their country. The root cause is the same: in times of uncertainty and chaos, it is very easy to associate "red flags" to any signs (perception) of neediness, especially if those people are different from you in color of skin, accent, religion, beliefs, social class...

That's unfortunate but it is part of the current human condition.

In another words, their current narrative is: those people (dudes at the club, commoners, immigrants) want something from me (my body, money or country) and only care about getting that thing without providing any value. So re-iterating the observances that any normal person would see as repulsive:

• In the club, guys being nice and acting weird for the only goal to have sex with a high value woman.
• The poor, being nice to put the rich under obligations to only get some of that money.
• The low skilled immigrant wanting to benefit from all the perks of a rich country and not providing much value.

So what’s the solution to this? Well, first of all, we notice that there is an underlying root cause.

People act mean when they have the perception that they are about to get taken of. So maybe fixing the immigration issue is more complicated than we think.

How one could design a system where nobody acts needy or get the feeling that are about to be taken advantage of?

If there are enough "upvotes", I will flesh out more of the causes and possible steps that as "world citizens" could get us closer to that utopian goal.

1st img by Alex Holyoake
2nd img by quentindr
3rd img by Chink Le Duc