He loves another

So much effort she had put into everything she ever did so the pain she felt when she didn't succeed was like a knife to the back but it was her whom had betrayed herself for she clearly hadn't tried hard enough.

The effort was put into everything no matter how small the task at hand was, cleaning her home, completing assessments, caring for her child, being the best version of herself not just for her child or herself but for him too.

He was a majestic sort of beauty, the reality of the vision she had in her head her whole life of the man she was to one day marry. When she first saw him everything fell into place the world was still for a brief moment and all was well.

For months to follow they were inseparable she had moments of an overwhelming love for him wash over her, the warmth she felt when this happened was so intense she was certain she became a crimson red and was certain he would soon find out her secret and that scared her completely because while she was so certain she was on the path to loving this man so wholeheartedly she knew he loved another.

It wasn't fair to her, He came to her attached to another, he allowed her to fall so deeply in lust with him that by the time she found out he still loved this other woman she couldn't bring herself to leave so everyday she felt herself becoming less and less of a person, she found herself doubting everything more and more.

She had worked on herself for so long and with so much might after her ex had broken not just her heart but her spirit she struggled to trust anyone else then along came this simple man with exalted hopes and it all crumbled around her.

As if they had never existed her walls were gone and he stood there in front of her. She stood there completely bare, completely naked whilst being fully clothed. She opened herself up completely to this closed off man, to this hidden man. The most hidden parts of herself were wide open in front of him. He watched her open up with this other woman by his side.

Standing over her whilst she was so vulnerable lending out a hand of help she reached up to grab it, everything suddenly got dark and no matter how much she tried nothing came into focus so like a mad woman she waved her arms around trying to grab at his hand and then like it never happened there was light and nothing else.

Looking up she saw him walking away hand in hand with the woman he loved. Choking back the tears she couldn't be mad at him for she chose to love a man in love with someone else.

Courtney Christiansen 2016