Steamy Saturday Night (NSFW)

Before we get started, you better setup your recovery account.
You're about to experience things that were not mentioned in the whitepaper.
This isn't just another circle jerk.

I want you to submit a story.
Can you handle the volatility?
Too late now - You're vested.

So you want to reach consensus?
Experience those sweet illusive liquidity rewards?
You better power up baby.
This will definitely not be SFW.

Time to call your 19 witnesses, and say goodbye to your Facebook friends.

You might want to keep this anonymous.
Those outside of Steemit will warn you it's a scam.

You should notice by now, that you have an increased hash-rate.
It's probably because I've adjusted my inflation.

After you've introducedyourself, I'll start by upvoting all your posts.
Once I am done with that, I will take off all your tags.

Follow me in here.
I'll mark-down on your cheetah.
Before you've even received your first whale-vote, you'll be curating in my feed.

Once you receive your first author reward, I'll slide my Curie in.
I'll keep increasing my vesting balance, until I reach your vote slider.
Then I'll slide it back and forth until you power down some liquid steam.

Now that your payout is > 0, I'll attach you to a blockchain.
I've hidden the owner key, and taken out all my SteemTools.

What's that you ask?
No, this was not covered in the FAQ.

You thought this was decentralized?
Hah, no.
I'm the one with all the voting power.

We're about to do things that can only be done with the CLI.

I will use SteemStats to monitor your vote rate, as I sybil attack your blocks.
I'll flag all of your bots, and start rate limiting your rewards.

Using a piston tool, I'll deposit tons of Steem Power into your wallet.

I know lots of ways to raise your SBD APR.

Before you know it, you'll be at the top of the trending page.
You'll have lost track of how many times you resteemed.

Don't worry about the mess.
SteemCleaners will take care of that.

Everything we just did was recorded forever.
It was an experience we can never forget.

You want do this again sometime?
Sure, just look me up on steemd.
There are many more methods in the API explorer that we haven't even tried.

Tonight's experience was fun and crazy, but it is nothing compared to what we will do next time with Graphene 2.0.