Halloween Tricks to Maximize Your Treats – For Children and Young Adults

supergoodliving (63)in #humor • 8 years ago (edited)

Halloween is here again! Put in a little extra effort this year to score some big candy rewards!

Have past Halloweens disappointed you? Did your bag of treats feel a little light when you made it back home? Halloween is one of the most exciting holidays of the year for kids. But sometimes you can become a little discouraged if your expectations exceed that late Halloween night reality.

Fear not, little ghouls and goblins! Try these easy Halloween tricks and you’ll be rolling in candy before the last of the neighborhood pumpkins are smashed in the streets!

1 – Raid your parents’ supply

This is one of the easiest tricks to pull off. Your parents have a Halloween trick-or-treater. It’s you! And being parents, they probably plan on giving out candy for other neighborhood kids. Take advantage of this! Start your night off right by pre-filling your bag of treats while your parents are planning their night of drinking apple cider.

Yes, it’s apple cider. It might smell like beer but that’s only because apple cider is fermented. And they do put apple cider in brown, 12-ounce glass bottles. And sometimes those bottles can be mislabeled at the packaging plant. Coincidentally, the apple cider is also packaged by the Anheuser-Busch company. This has to do with mergers and acquisitions. You’ll learn more about that and the need to drink apple cider when you’re an adult and have kids of your own. Now stop asking questions and go get that candy!

2 – Bring multiple masks with you

Sometimes maximum rewards requires a little bit of investment. One of the easiest ways to get the most treats is to hit the same houses over and over again. You’re probably thinking, “But I’ll be caught!” Not if you plan accordingly, my frightful little friend!

Find yourself a few different masks to wear. You don’t need anything fancy. Dressing up for Halloween isn’t about having the coolest costume. It’s all about getting the most candy! Don’t be fooled by the Halloween marketers and scammers trying to sell you and your parents $100 costumes!

Have your parents buy you a variety of cheap masks from your local dollar store. Or you can take it upon yourself and use your allowance money. Buy at least three masks, bring all of them with you on Halloween night, and change them each time you finish a new street or block. Then circle back around wearing a different mask and double or triple your score! This works wonders on the homes that are giving away the best treats! And if you’re lucky enough to find a home that left a bowl full of candy to be dipped into based on the honor system, take the whole stash! They won’t know who you are! And if they can identify your mask, ditch that one! You have more of them!

3 – Use government methods to get what you want

If you’re not having any luck with the Halloween merit system, try using some strong-arm tactics. Do what the local government does and start taxing other trick-or-treaters that pass through your neighborhood. What’s yours? Anything that you claim is yours. And since these other kids are passing through land that is yours, you have the right to take what they have as a tribute to you. Call it a protection fee. And the fee is a portion of their candy. But only take the really good candy. If they refuse to give it to you, just take all of their candy.

This is a time-honored tradition and shouldn’t get you into any trouble. Make sure you’re wearing one of your multiple masks just in case. And bring your friends. Strength in numbers! If anyone can identify you, you know the drill. If an adult catches you, give them a lesson about mafia-style government and tell them how hypocritical they are for supporting it while they intend to punish you! But whatever you do, never give in! That candy is yours because you worked hard for it!

Count your blessings...and earnings!

You should be a candy-collecting guru by the end of the night if you follow these tips. You’ll be legendary if you can pull all of them off! Your friends will respect you and your parents will be amazed at your initiative and success! Be confident and courageous!

Halloween will never again be disappointing for you. You won’t have any more Halloween nights staring at those sad piles of Dubble Bubble™ and Good & Plenty™. You’ll finally be living the kid’s version of the American dream. It’ll be candy heaven full of the good candy, like Butterfinger™ and Twix™!