A Question Of Sex: An Old Guys Views Of Gender

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[After a week of depressing posts on pedophilia, I need a little humor. For most investigators it just that, investigation, but for me it's personal having to relive experiences day after day... so this weekend- I'm going to have some fun!]

I'm one of those people whose mind starts racing when I finish my prayers and try to go to sleep. Last night, I started thinking about sex... Not that way, about all of the new genders we now have. At last count, it was somewhere between 58 - 76 (these figures are a few days old so it may be over 100 by now). I began to wonder what on earth they could all be.

When I was young there were only 3- men, women and dinosaurs. Actually, it was men, women and the occasional homosexual. Homosexuality was viewed by mental health experts as a form of mental illness. Then public perceptions began to change, and now mental health professionals are telling us that there are between 58- 76 different genders which makes me suspect that things have come full circle and that it's the mental health professionals not homosexuals that are mentally ill.

If there are in fact 76 different genders, how can you tell them apart? Or, how do they recognize each other for that matter? Do they each have a secret handshake? Clearly before having sex with someone it would be necessary to know that your prospective partner is compatible. Is intergender sex permissible? So many questions! What pronoun should we use? Do they each come with their own pronoun? Given so many choices, how do you know where you fit in? I suggest a gender roulette wheel... Spin the wheel, pick a "Gender of the Day."

What I really wonder is what they all are. First there was heterosexual and homosexual. Then in the 60's or 70's came unisexual- the androgynous thing. Now reason has seemingly departed and confusion set in. As I tried to fall asleep, I thought and thought about what all of these different preferences could be... I once knew a kid when I was up in New Hampshire who admitted having sex with a cow- would that be Bovisexual? When he told me that the cow didn't feel it, I suspected he might in fact be Microsexual.

I have, on occasion, had sex while swimming- would that make me Aquasexual? A friend once quipped that "I'd f**k a pile of rocks if I thought there was a snake underneath"- would that make me Omnisexual, Multisexual, or perhaps Herpesexual? If someone prefers Hispanic women- would he be Mexisexual? Well, when I got up this morning, I began looking at some prefixes to help clarify things. What would you call someone attracted to this offensive distasteful person...

Aversexual? Or to someone that clearly isn't "right?"

Would they be a Lunasexual or a Psychosexual? Where would these folks fit in?

I ain't even touching these (in more ways than one).

So after all this, I decided to find out what some of these gender categories actually are. Without going through the whole list (many of which have binary categorizations???) here are some of my favorites... Vapogender- "feels like smoke; often feels whispy." Glassgender- "very sensitive and fragile." Espigender- "exists on a higher or extradimensional plane" (my favorite). Cisgender- "The feeling of being the gender you were born with" (how boring).

If I was to identify as an Eskimo lesbian midget, I wonder where I would fit in and find others like myself? Thanks for stopping by... I'm @richq11 and I think.

GIF by @papa-pepper