Anegdot.

The world's first fully computerized airliner was ready to go on your first flight without pilots and crew. The plane automatically pulled up to the gate, automatically opened the door, went out and descended the ladder. Passengers boarded and took their seats. The ladder is automatically cleared, the doors were closed and the airliner approached the runway. "Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, - a voice was heard, - we are pleased to welcome you to the debut of the world's first fully computerized aerial vehicle. Everything on this plane is operated by means of electronic devices and mechanisms. Sit back in their chairs and relax. Everything will be okay... Everything will be okay... Everything will be fine...

• I know why you didn't come to work – you were playing Golf.
• And that's not true! And as proof, I can show you the fish I caught yesterday...

Undoubtedly, the development of modern technology leads to big changes. But sometimes it manifests itself only in the change of terminology. So, students no longer blame their dogs as an excuse. Modern justification may sound, for example: hard drive ate my homework...

For Americans, it is not so important to win, how many look like winners.

• Well, what are you going to do with your overweight?
• I don't know, doctor. Nothing helps. Perhaps I have some kind of overactive thyroid...
• Tests show that your thyroid is all right. If you have something overactive, so it's your fork.

Two old friends met on the street, and one of them invited the other over for dinner. He explained where he lives, how to get there, and added:

• And when you approach the door, press the elbow on the call.
• Why the elbow?!
  Well, I hope you'll come not with empty hands?

Parents have promised the child a birthday present a big and special surprise, and he really was. He marveled at the huge adult Saint Bernard standing in the middle of the living room. The boy slowly approached the dog cautiously walked around her and looked into her great big brown eyes. Then he turned to mom and said,
Is it for me or I for him?

The hurricane was so strong that it blew everything away except the diamond stud farmer's daughter, who asked:

• How did you manage to save her?!
• I put it in my mouth...
• It is a pity that your mother wasn't home at the time. We could have saved the horse, cart and some of the furniture...

Two lions escaped from Washington zoo and scattered in different directions. After a few weeks they met.

• It's hard for me to get food, complained one, and how are you doing?
  Oh, I'm quite well settled. I found a good shelter in the Pentagon and every week, eat at the General. I think it will be many years before they find anything missing...

Like any other nation, Americans know that their country is the best in the world.

We had a very successful trip to Russia we came back...