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It is a hot Friday noon. Jesus is being whipped by the Roman soldiers. Meanwhile, there is an audience in heaven watching process.

Lucifer: ( laughing ) What is this, God? Are we shooting a movie? I thought you said your precious son could handle it.

God: Of course he can! We are just building momentum.

Lucifer: momentum my hellish butt! Your boy is not so strong after all that you had to pay them to whip him lighter? ( bursts into uncontrollable laughter. )

Gabriel: Lucifer!

Lucifer: What? I know we are all thinking it. I'm just the only one saying.

God: (whispering to Gabriel) Tell the soldier to turn it up a notch.

Gabriel: Are we sure we want to do that?

God: Just do as you're told.

( Gabriel goes down to earth to deliver the new instruction to the soldier. The soldier drops the whip and picks up a koboko from northern Nigeria. He swings it in the hair several times before unleashing it on Jesus' back.)

Jesus: What the Fuck?!

Soldier: Language, Sir. The world is watching.

Jesus: Well Fuck you and Fuck the world! I didn't sign up for this. I'm supposed to endure this? What next? Real nails on the cross?

Soldier: I thought...

Jesus: you thought wrong!

( Jesus makes a run for it. Pilate enters.)

Pilate: Why the delay? ( surprised at not finding Jesus) what's going on here?

Soldier: Jesus has escaped!

Pilate: Find him! This is my moment in history and he cannot ruin it for me!

Meanwhile in heaven...

Lucifer: Is it just me or is the story getting even more interesting?

God: Shut it! This is all your fault!

Lucifer: My fault? What did I do?

God: If you hadn't made me push him he wouldn't have...

Lucifer: run? You blame me for... (Seeing God's frustrated face) Fine! I'll find him. (Leaves)

God: Now where under the heavens is Judas? Shouldn't he have bought the noose by now?

Silence...

God: Gabriel, what are you hiding from me?

Gabriel: Unfortunately, Judas is in a brothel having a... Three ladies... You know it, Sire.

God: Oh me! Can today get any better?

Gabriel: It gets worse, Sire.

God: What?!

Gabriel: Somebody has stolen the cross!