Chess and Humor

I am closing in on one year of humor and joke writing here on Steemit. There are probably 300 to 400 bits ranging in topic from dating to Steemit (opposite activities since you are either doing one or the other in life) and I should organize the whole works.

For example, I write jokes about chess from time to time. Usually, I play the heel: losing to nine year olds, fistfighting the kid's mother later in the parking lot, fleeing a mob of pissed grandmasters (not to be mistaken for grand wizards) who organized the event. However, in real life I am a fine chess player who regularly defeats nine year olds.

There are three things that have prevented me from becoming a much better chess player. First is my marijuana habit. Second is because I yell "king me!" every time I checkmate an opponent, and third is my continuous observation that it is white's priveledge to make the opening move.

Chess: the classic battle of black vs. white.

So, instead, I play online against anonymous players with names like chesspro22 or bobbyfischer66. I never chat with these people. Our interaction is as meaningless as attempting to solve a Rubik's Cube.

However, every once in a while I get a sh-t talker. This one types that I suck, or that I should get f-cked, or some other cruel thing, simply to distract.

It can be effective. The appropriate thing to do is to ignore this one, flag his account, and move on. I, on the other hand, respond with "sorry to hear about your country," or "tell your mom I say hi." Both are nice sentiments (which is better than getting down in the mud with a st-t talker) but both tend to get a negative rise out of that kind of opponent. It could be any country or any mother. How do I know? It is anonymous.

In conclusion, chess is a mental game, Bobby Fischer level mental, and writing humor on the blockchain is also mental. Thank you all for reading my material.