Fuck It, Before It Fucks You #134 (Re-arrange the voices in your head)

Good evening motherfuckers and motherfuckettes! And don’t think I forgot about all you little motherfuckaroos out there who’ve figured out how to get by the parental controls!. Fight the power kids! You’re our last hope. But it’s Friday night here in the Pacific northwest and time for me to put some more content out there for the internetz. Although the way things are looking I might have to resort to carrier pigeons soon enough. Maybe messages in bottles. In any case, I’ve got shit to do in the morning so I need to try to make this quick. Maybe I should have just started writing earlier, but I didn’t, so…

So I was at a bus stop earlier and this guy asked me if I knew what time the taco place across the street closes. I didn’t, but I try to be a decent human being sometimes so I look it up on the networked supercomputer I just happened to have in my pocket. And he’s grateful. Then he goes on to talk about how things like fast food are how the Devil gets you. And I don’t really disagree with that. I’d be more inclined to say the technocratic corporate oligarchy that’s seeking to control and monetize every fragment of our lives, but “The Devil” is easier for a lot of other people to understand. So I agree and he keeps going on talking about the devil and God and angels and such, and I just listen and consider the things he’s saying until my bus pulls up. Hey, sometimes people just need someone to listen to them for a minute. That’s probably the whole reason I do this blog.
The whole interaction did get me to thinking though, about how convinced people are of their own importance. I don’t mean this guy in particular, I mean our species. One thing this guy told me is that humans are the only thing with a soul and free will. Apparently this is what led the angels to rebel against God too. Now I’ve heard this from several people in my life, and the whole argument never really held water for me. It’s amazing how people often miss the gaping holes in their own logic sometimes. For one thing, if angels don’t have free will, how did any of them ever rebel against God? It just seems to me that, beyond F=15s and nuclear weapons, the one thing you need to rebel is free will. So did God order them to rebel? Do we find out after all this time that the whole War in Heaven was just the divine version of the FBI setting up a terror plot so they can foil it? How many confidential informants were in Lucifer’s army? I think it’s long past time congress held an investigation into that whole fiasco, frankly. But then there’s the other question I often feel compelled to ask. How are so many people so certain that only human beings have a soul? I know it’s not all of them. Some believe that every living thing has a soul and some believe that even rocks and rivers and mountains do. I tend to lean more in that direction myself. And have you met dolphins? They really act like something with free will. And who can look in a dog’s eyes and tell me they don’t have a soul? But humans seem uniquely assured of their own importance. Not just religious folk either, there’s plenty of atheists that will tell you about the things we can do to save the planet. When really the best thing we can do for the planet is leave. So I guess I would salute the likes of Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk for doing just that, but unfortunately they’re all coming back. Because the simplest solution is always unthinkable. I don’t think that anyone in particular’s law yet, so I’m going to go ahead and claim it as J Tru’s law.
Of course, this kind of species wide self importance filters down too, and you get nations that think they’re the most important in the world, like the U.S.. Have you even notice that whenever trouble pops up somewhere in the world, right away some people are saying the U.S. needs to intervene, even though this hasn’t really worked out in the last 75 years. But it’s also only in specific countries. People freak out that the Taliban taking over Afghanistan is going to be a disaster for women’s rights there, but on the other hand, fuck the women of Saudi Arabia, they don’t need our help, just the women of Afganistan. Then there’s Cuba. A few CIA plants pop up in the streets waving signs around and right away people over here are calling for airstrikes. Meanwhile Haiti is right next door and people don’t seem to want to talk as much about that mess, even though I’m pretty sure we just had their president killed. But hey, it’s just another example of how socialism doesn’t work. Oh sure, it sounds good in theory, but when people try to put it into practice, the U.S. just starves them with an embargo for 60 years. The best way the U.S. could intervene in Cuba is by stopping that nonsense. But that’s just another example of J Tru’s law. So I’ll once again default to Dave Rabbit’s law, which is to say Fuck it, before it fucks you.