Thoughts by TJ

It’s funny, as I get older, I seem to be feeling more. You would think that the older you get, the less you feel somehow; that the more life you live, the more jaded or numb you become. For me, it’s been quite the opposite. I am feeling full with feelings everyday, sparked by anything and everything. I can be on the bus and see an old woman patient for stillness so she can apply her crimson lipstick and I’ll tear thinking of my lola. I’ll be on my phone cruising through Insta and learn a story about a dog and I’ll tear and remember my own. I get up in the grueling Monday morning grind dragging my body from the bed to the floor to the bus to job number 1 and then to job number 2, already needy for Friday and then, I’ll observe a young mother with her young child on the same exact hustle as mine except, all her work is reaped by her child, all her work is driven by love to nourish him and feed him and support him; such unselfish and thoughtful labor, hauling the stroller and the diaper bag and of course, you guessed it: I’ll tear. So many damn feelings, you’d think I’m the Asian Lucy Campbell from 7th Heaven!

For what it’s worth, I suppose having emotional emotions is a good thing. I’m human.