How to Ask For A Favor When You Are Too Afraid To Ask For One

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Asking

I think a large reason we don’t get what we want in life is that we are afraid to ask for it, because we are afraid that the answer will be no, and we still won’t have what we want. Asking someone to do us a favor is another way of saying I am open to receive from others because I am not able to do everything on my own without depending on others. We must feel deserving in order to ask for something.

Recently, my passport expired, and I had to ask someone who has known me for more than 2 years, but isn't a family member to sign as my witness. They had to give their contact information and certify that it was true. They also had to be prepared to receive a phone call from the passport office to verify that the information was correct. To my surprise, the person I asked said she has done it before for other people, and has been received a few follow-up calls. She was happy to help me out, and the subject made for good conversation at the local coffee shop.

When People Give They Feel Good in Return

Research has shown that people like to do favors more than they like asking for them. Giving brings us a lot of joy.

But it is all in what you EXPECT will happen when you ask for a favor, and HOW you ask for it.

1. People aren’t likely to want to do you a favor if you feel like they owe you the favor. They would much rather be approached in a way that lets them know you are requesting something from them, not commanding them to do something. Ask humbly.

2. When you ask for a favor, let people know it’s okay if they are not able to do what you ask, by telling them you understand if they don’t have the time or ability to help you out. This lets them off the hook if they can't help you, and leaves no hard feelings between you. It shows that you are an understanding person.

3. Most people will do their best to help you, because giving makes them feel good.

4. When someone does a favor for you, keep in mind that in the future you will want to do something nice for them too. It’s healthy to have a give and take equal relationship, where you each get the chance to feel the pleasure of giving! Also, make sure you thank them for helping you.

Remember, whatever you want - ask nicely, don't be shy, return the favor in the future, and you will be spreading joy to both giver and receiver! Every one of us needs a piggy-back sometimes!