life purpose - lifestyle design - life coaching
We all have dreams we’ve given up on, as we age and mature some of our dreams lose their luster and some are the result of reality.
As children we all wanted to be a fireman, an astronaut, a cowboy or something wild and unexpected, out of our normal world. It was just so exciting to think of becoming that mythical figure.
Unfortunately, either the world around us prevented us from choosing this path (it’s not practical, who will train you, etc.) or the physical realities set in that no matter how driven we were, it just wasn’t a path we could choose (poor eyesight meant you couldn’t be an astronaut, etc.)
When Did You Start Moving Towards Another Path?
So, we choose to move in another path, something that aligned with who we identified with at the time. Just as when we were children, we also identified with becoming that “dream.”
Then, the dream fell out of alignment and we moved on, accepted it as reality and went on our merry way.
As humans, we are driven by challenge and change, we’re not meant to be one “Thing” or “Career” for our entire lives, this is a relatively new condition that’s been thrust upon us.
The Natural State For Us To Be In Is…
Constantly striving to the next level of our personal and professional lives, to always be growing and challenging ourselves.
There are times that we may want to rest on our laurels and celebrate our wins, but after awhile we begin to get restless and want to move forward again.
Every journey has the same identifiable trail markings, it’s up to us to read the signs and move in that direction or not.
I’ve seen a ton of people that stay rooted in place for a few reasons, the most common being
– they don’t recognize the sign that it’s time to pick their pack up and continue to move forward
– they don’t want to put all that weight of having to start over again, they’ve lost all the momentum and just want to stay put
– they’ve looked for every sign along their journey, but blindly followed the easiest path
Slowly, frustration and resentment build up in their lives. They resent their job, their family, where they live and everything in their life they should be grateful for, instead they wish and speak of how things should be different. Never taking the time to dig in and make the changes necessary.
On the other side of the equation, I’ve seen people that live entirely in chaos, changing jobs, locations just about every aspect of their life every three to five years.
They’re constantly frustrated that they too aren’t experiencing the growth and success they envisioned all these rapid changes should have brought to them.
The Common Denominator
Finding the porridge that is “just right,” in your life you have to always be on the lookout for the porridge that is “just right” just like Goldilocks did when she broke into the three bears house.
Developing the internal trail markers is tough, when you get that itch to change is just because you’re bored today, or is it a sign of a more long term condition where you’ve been stuck in one place for too long?
Here are three questions to ask before you should change and help cement when you should change:
- For your career, is there any promotion on the horizon or is the deck stacked above you (top heavy organization with middle aged people that won’t retire / leave for awhile (5-10 years)?
– has your pay gone up at or about the level of inflation but no more than that over the last 3 to 5 years?
Can you say you wake every day and give it your all, 100% or do you spend most of your day reading the news, socializing and finding ways to get out of doing the most routine work? Do you have a clear and compelling vision that you are working towards?
Has there been a shift in your life, a huge transformation (say a midlife awakening?) You were okay with work, where you live, the people in your life and your relationship with your family, but now it just seems to irritate you all the time?
Which Camp Do You Fall In and What Should You Do?
Are you rooted in place rarely changing and moving forward in your life because you’re exhausted, you have a hard time mustering the energy to pick up the pack and carry on forward, step by methodical step until you get enough movement behind you that the march forward becomes effortless.
Or, are you moving so fast from one area to the next to the next that you never take the time to focus and reflect what all these massive changes in life are bringing you? Before the results can settle in and see if it’s really the marker you should have taken you identify a new one and of you go, like a rabbit being rushed out of the weed.
Take some time to reflect if you fall into these camps. I’ve found that many people trick themselves into believing they don’t’ fall into either camp, that it’s just the world conspiring against them, they’re just a victim of their circumstances.
Once you get past the initial shock to your system and realize where you are you can then start to plan how best to get out of your “rut.”
If you’re rooted in place, start building your plan to pull you out of the ground and destroy the roots, create the freedom of movement and choice in your life. Once you move your eyesight above the ground in front of you, you’ll be amazed at the opportunities in front of you.
If you’re moving so fast, living in chaos, slow down, take a moment to pull over and take a rest, examine the surroundings around you and recognize the best option of all the ones in front of you, then commit to yourself that you will single minedly follow that path until it comes to anatural stopping point, not when the next easier path jumps in front of you distracting and diffusing your efforts.