Confidence Lost
Trust in anything or anyone is difficult to maintain over time. People and systems ar imperfect. We all fall short of our intended goals. Always! 
Once confidence is lost, it is mostly impossible to restore. Nothing personal...
One year ago, I had hope and confidence in myself to achieve financial independence. 2018 beat the stuffings out of that dream.
I retain only a glimmer of hope for 2019. The good news is a bit of hope remains. All is not lost!
Historically, everyone passes this way at least once... maybe twice... or frequently. There are stories of ‘happily ever after’ endings, but when you get old, they seem mostly fictional.
Persistently holding on to hope is required to survive. Hope is good.
Here is today’s beauty.
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True ... Last year this time the Crypto market was at its top, this year totally opposite.
When I get older I find that hope does not work anymore I just try to enjoy every day I have as the only thing I am sure will happen is death. So enjoy what you have now and do not worry about tomorrow.