And Good Neighbors with a Tractor are PLATINUM CHAMPAGNE COCAINE!!!

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The latest noreaster knocked loads of trees down in the area. (It also knocked our power out for 61 hours - a new record!)

One of the fatalities was this lovely cedar tree. In the photo above, we've already cut half of it down.

Under the weight of the snow and the pressure of the wind, it split in half. The left half was leaning on the pine behind, and threatening to push that directly down across our electrical service line. The other half was leaning out across the street.

Early this morning I heard my neighbor's tractor rumbling around outside. (This is the same guy who came out in the pouring rain, two storms ago, to clear a fallen tree from the road so I could get home.) He said he'd help take care of this tree for me, so I was eager to catch him and see if he was in the mood of taking care of things. Lucky surprise for me, his Husquavarna was already sitting in the snow-bank. I guess he was confident I'd hear his rumblings and head out to help.

He started by hooking the left half of the split tree to his tractor with a rope, and then pulling it back. Trees are heavy. The back of the tractor started to lift off the ground. But he was able to pull it back into an almost upright position, rather close to the other half. Then we wrapped the chain around to hold them close together.

After that he tried felling it in the traditional way: cutting a notch in the desired direction of fall (away from the power line) and then cutting in from the opposite side above the notch. He tied his rope as far above the cut as he could reach and had me playing tug-of-war with the tree from a distance, in case it went in the wrong direction.

Of course it did. It dragged me right down into the snowbank. After that, though, I was able to hold it up until he re-attached the tractor and pulled it back down into the situation you can see in these pictures. But we were very close to not having power again for a long time. (The electric company won't cut down trees unless they are actually pressing against service lines.)

After that he chopped down the street-leaning half of the tree and limbed it just enough to make it safe for an amateur like me to come out with his electric chainsaw and chop it into manageable pieces for another burn in the pool.

It took me another four hours to get it all cut up, tossed piece by piece over that fence, and then hurled into the pool. The wife helped by making me an egg, ham and cheese sandwich on a bagel with extra-extra butter so I wouldn't black out.

In the past, I didn't mind doing projects like this. But now that I'm working full time, and commuting an additional 20 hours a week, these sorts of homesteading projects are more of a burden than a joy.

At least it was a good workout. Cross-fit, I'd say. I used every damn muscle, and I used them a lot. Now I feel every one!

More Car Trouble

Then the wife went grocery shopping in the new (to her) car, came home, and found that the key wouldn't release from the ignition. She couldn't turn the car off! So we watched some youtube videos and fussed with the connection to the gear-shift, which promptly broke off, and now we couldn't shift the running car out of park. We called for a tow and the driver couldn't get the thing into neutral either. He said that forcing it onto the flatbed while it was in park would do serious damage to the transmission. He spent 45 minutes jimmying around the gear shift in an alarming fashion, and finally said, "I've been doing this for 15 years but you guys have me stumped."

So he left.

We went back to Youtube and found a 2 minute video showing where the button to emergency release the gear-shift is located. Getting to it meant yanking the shift-knob off (this took a tremendous amount of force) and prodding at a button with a screw-driver. But this also exposed a cable that could be jiggled to release the key from the ignition.

So we were able to drive the car to the mechanic's ourselves, and save a $70 tow charge. Still, it's Saturday and who knows how long it'll take to fix. The wife is still without a car FOUR WEEKS after starting her hunt for one, and feeling pretty low about it.

I'm not happy either.

I'm also at war with Fedex and Net10 -

for refusing to deliver the sim card for my new phone. The Wife waited all day yesterday for a signature-only delivery. Nothing was said about the signature requirement when I ordered the damn thing. I guess the driver saw the snow in the driveway, put a "final notice, returning-to-sender" label on the mailbox, and drove away. No honk, no knock, no nothing. The wife was literally 30 feet away when he made his "final delivery attempt."

Seriously, fuck Fedex. Now I've got to spend a second $40 to ship one to work and wait 30 days for a refund for the first.

At least googling "Fuck Fedex" made me feel a little better. I'm not the only one fed up with that delivery company. UPS walked across a fallen tree and through a foot of snow to leave me the phone. Fedex can't even call the phone number on file to ask me if someone's in the house?

As the boss at my last job would say: "That really goes up my ass, sideways."

Enough with the excitement already.

When can life just be boring again?

I haven't been drinking lately. Hardly at all since I started this job, in fact. But tonight's a night for whiskey and Minecraft and some soothing music. I need to rest my bones and forget I've gone through three nor'easters in two weeks.

And I'll be counting my blessings too. One: I've got a good neighbor. Two: with a tractor. Three: and two chainsaws.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day. How is your weekend going?