Being Here Now/Little Miracles

Well, I finally killed my car. Not that one. that's been dead awhile. I mean my 1990 Toyota Corolla that my brother gave me as a wedding present. It almost made 280,000 miles and I was cheering it on toward 300k and the head gasket blew. Well, I've been talking about riding my bike to work for like a year now and never did, so I suppose the universe decided to push me out of the nest a little.

The first morning I rode my bike in, I said why didn't I do this sooner?! I live in such a beautiful little valley and my church, work, home, in-laws, various gardens and bees are all within 5 miles of each other. Buckminster Fuller said that the bicycle is the most efficient form of transportation, and I believe him. Besides the expense of a vehicle, the fossil fuel consumption, the lack of excercise, the pollution... you just miss so many sights and sounds and smells and sensations in your neighborhood. Those who get in their car in a garage and only walk across parking lots have no idea that the dandelions and cherries are starting to bloom and the Queen Anne's lace is starting to sprout. It reminds me of something that Wendell Berry (or was it Eliot Coleman?) said about modern tractors- that if they had combines in Robert Frost's day, "Ode to a Field Mouse" would have never been written.

I am trying to be present in all moments. I feel that life requires it. When people tell you about their spouse leaving or an aging parent's dementia, they do not want advice or solutions or cliche adages; they need a human to hear them out and BE WITH them. The #metoo experience has been heavy on my heart- that's all I can offer my beloved sisters- I hurt with you. You're not alone, carrying something too big for one heart. I am connected and open to whatever you need to say or however angry you need to be or whatever comes next, let's do it together.

I am often bothered by how trapped in our own private universe each of us is. I wish for more communion, deeper connection. I can be lost in troubled thought or stressed with how much work I have to do, and snap out of it to realize my son is looking at me curiously. He's just wide open, waiting for the corresponding feedback from me, and I was somewhere else. I have so little time with him! Today I was tilling and picking rocks in a light flurry when I turn around to this sight:

Judah Walden!

He is 18 months old and has to do everything I do. He followed me around with a hand shovel while I dug weeds saying "Shovel! Shovel! Shovel!" Later I was building beehives and he paraded around a hammer chanting "Hammer! Hammer! Hammer!" I just can't get enough of him. This evening as I walked into the house I started crying tears of gratitude for the moments I get to share life with my little family. I am so blessed!

The first 2 photos were taken with my flip phone! The last was taken with my wife's smartphone. That is the extent of our data tech. if I could do this on my old Remington typewriter, I would.