Perhaps the worst solution to the Seattle homeless problem ... (perhaps?)

I don't think homelessness is a funny topic, and so perhaps this post will be in poor taste ... but ...

There is one solution to the Seattle homeless problem that NO ONE on the city council is discussing or considering or debating, nor has that mayor Durkan woman spent any precious resources on this most critical of topics, beyond brokering some kind of half-ass "head tax" ... a "head tax" the hooker won't have to pay ... that's funny ... as if that Durkan woman cared about anything but her billion dollar yacht, the Excelsior ... her mooring is in low Earth orbit.

But hey, I'm cool ... no biggie here ... just saying man, like ... there could be this furry behemoth solution, just waiting for us, at the arctic circle and crap.

Polar bears are vicious - they don't mess around ...

Polar bears DO NOT need to be trained or conditioned to eat humans - they LOVE the LONG PIG!

Polar bears, as all higher animals, would be amenable to a conditioning device, a shock collar, that would only allow the polar bear to eat or get close to a "tagged" person - meaning a homeless person that a cop tagged with his tag gun. The tag gun would insert a short range, 100 feet, multi-stage RFID that would mark the homeless person as prey for the polar bear. If the polar bear gets too close to non-prey, it gets shocked ...

And don't try scratching out or removing the tag ... this ain't no mattress tag.

You try to surreptitiously remove THIS tag, and it will release a dangerous acid into your bloodstream that will melt your brain ... so leave it alone, and get outside the city limits, fast man ...

The cops WILL have tag guns, as will 80 year old Catholic nuns, and would be trusted, nay, SHOULD BE TRUSTED, NEVER to abuse this power, because that is likely, like my dating Scarlett Johansson ... cops and/or nuns not abusing power.

You get tagged - it doesn't mean you're gonna die, it just means you need to get out of Seattle.

Yes - this is terrible ... feeding the homeless to polar bears ...

Yes - there will be repercussions, but maybe in my satire you're getting my point.

The homeless are human beings, they're not all drug dealers, they're not all crazy.

There are families out on those streets, they just dropped below the flight ceiling of the "american dream", and need some help.

We shouldn't belittle them, we shouldn't attack them, but we have to be realistic in our approaches.

(and in no way, EVER, and I mean EVER-EVAH ... should we feed the homeless to polar bears)

(not a good idea)

(wink)