I can't stand the rain..

I can't stand the rain against my window, Miss Peebles, you nailed it. Staring out into this grey shit, makes me wonder what I am doing here. Wouldn't we all love to live on a tropical island, foraging for our fish and fruit daily, swinging in the hammock reading and writing our favourite lines, and drinking a strong cocktail out of a fresh coconut shell. Well, maybe not everyone, but I sure would sometimes...But then how would I travel, tour, do my shows, sing my blues to the world, if I was so far removed from everyone's reality here in the world outside of paradise? I guess we all know the answer. I don't have the cash to make it work yet, but I am working, on that. I wish I could say that rainy days make me feel cozy like when I was in my teens, curled up in Canada listening to Kind of Blue everytime the rain fell, thanks Miles. But now, since I am so far from home, caught in the push and pull of Europe's daily changes, I think the rain only makes me miss Canada more. I am happy for all my hardwork, my career ebbs and flows and I see it develop, thanks to my sacrifices and constant moving and starting again. But let's not fool ourselves. I miss my damn country. I miss it every day, but I find ways to distract myself through work, writing, love and food. But the rain is coming down hard today, on this ugly city where I live in my small apartment in Holland. The rain reminds me of the westcoast, Vancouver days and Tofino waves. I'll get home once this year, and that will have to be enough, because my credit card can't take more than that, and neither can my schedule or heart. Everytime I go back, I think about what it would be like to move back. If only there was any fragment of a real music scene there..If only I hadn't already played most of the biggest blues festivals there, and if only the clubs would pay properly and that there were a heck of alot more than there is, spread across the country. For now, Europe is where I need to be, to continue on this musical journey. So for now, I will sit here, watching the rain, writing these words, and waiting until the right time, to go back home...