Helping Grieving persons 18/10/2021

Greetings to you great people of Steem community.

source: google

I bring to you good news. Have you ever wondered what to do in order to comfort a friend or a family member when they lost someone, failed exams, scam, lost relationship, divorce or something and are mourning or grieving. Many have the desire to render comfort to the grieving friend or family members but most of the time, the good they want to do comes the opposite. This is because they themselves do not know what to do to relieve the pains their friends are going through. A lot of your friends are crying because of the approach you used in comforting them. This is because in your attempting to bring conform, you rather brought more pains. It is common to hear many of you telling their friends, "is okay" what is okay? Do you mean to say that is okay that his brother should die or is ok that someone removes his gun and killed his sister or brother. These are the kinds of words we use with the intention of comforting our friends. We even tell them to stop crying. There are things you most not do when you come to comfort a grieving person.
When you come to comfort someone, the person is in any of the following stages:

A) The Village of denial: when someone is at this stage, he or she has not yet accepted that his person is dead. Is like this person is in the dream world. The person has in his/ her mind that the person is still alive, or the things lost is not.

B) The Village of anger: losing someone or something nurses anger in us. This is because lost has to do with emotions. When you lost someone or something, after the village of denial, you moved to the village of anger. Are you to be blamed because of the way you feel, the answer is no. This is a normal thing following who we are.

C) The village of bargaining: here, you are calming yourself by bargaining. You will tell yourself, if this thing you lost comes back, you will not be angry anymore. If God will heal or bring my brother or sister back, I will not be angry again.
I will never be angry again if you can stop my brother or sister from dying. These are the things that are running in your head at this stage.

D)The village of depression: this is a stage where you have come to terms that bargaining is not yielding fruit. Nothing positive is coming out. The good thing with this stage is that you are coming face to face with the reality with your present situation. This gives way to acceptance.

E)The village of acceptance: the place of acceptance dose not say you nolonger feel the pains of the lost. But you have accepted the truth about your situation and nolonger resisting the reality. This at times come faster when you retell the story of what happened.

What then should you do to comfort them?
There are a lot of things you can do to comfort your friends or family members who are grieving.

Cry with them: this is a very effective grieving relieved method.

source: google

When you cry this acts like a therapy on you to limit the weight of the demise on you, chances of losing control of yourself and fainting. When a friend is grieving, you join him or her in the crying, they feel your love, they understand that you value them and understand their state and the pains they are going through. You are in their shoes. Dear friend, stop tell them "stop crying" rather join them in crying for their lost if you truly care.

Hold the person close to you and stay quiet:

source: google

this is another important way of showing your dear friends that you are standing with them. You understand the difficulties they are going through. You do this when you do not have anything to say or you do not know what to say. Do not seek to do much that will only increase their crises. Holding them closely to your body is a great sign for them that you care and just that can bring great and splendid response to their grieving.

Say something: like I noted above, you are not under obligation to say something. But if you must say something as that is in the case of people who can not control it crying or sitting with their mourning friend quiet. Make it a habit by robbing their back and telling them "Asher". Avoid telling them you understand what they are going through. My beloved friends, you do not understand what he/ she is going through. I know, you have experienced it before, but is not the same. As both of you are different in characters, personalities, facial looks and temperament so is your grieving.

Retelling of the story:

source google
Meeting a friend in the first three stages (denial village, anger village, and bargaining village), how can you help this friend to step to depression and finally to acceptance? You can do this by asking him or her the following questions
1) what happened?
2) how do you feel?
3) what is the most difficult part of it?
There is a healing of grief that comes faster when you retell the story of what happened to you to a friend or to God.

Grieving is what we are now experiencing everyday. People are shot to dead when they are not sick. Others faint. With this, we need the right method to employ when our friends are mourning their love ones. This is so that you will not be another pain to them.

Thank you for reading
God bless Steem community.