Traditional Context of Marriage in my Village.

Steem greetings all the the way from the motherland-Cameroon. Today, I will be sharing my knowledge about traditional misconceptions about marriage in my village.

Most of us see marriage as a union between two persons, coming together to complement each other and live happily ever after. Does this really happen in real life given the attachment and involvement of African parents in the marriage affairs of their kids?

I grew up in a typical traditional family where cultural and traditional values are upheld and imposed on generations to come. Our perspective on marriage was based on traditional stereotypes which gives a different narrative about marriage.

Some Misconceptions about Marriage.

This will focus on a traditional context of marriage in my village. Some of the misconceptions are as follows:

• They believed that marriage is a union between the bride and the whole family of the groom. This might sound strange to many of you reading through this post but I assure you that is what marriage is all about in my village. They believed that as a bride, you are not only getting married to your husband but rather to the whole family. They expect the bride to be friendly and welcoming to every family member of the groom irrespective of their attitudes and behaviours towards you.
• They believed that people get married to reproduce and increase the family population. Once you get married, after 9 months, the family of the groom starts expecting a baby and the moment they realise there is no sign of pregnancy to show forth, they start pressurizing the groom to look for another wife that can reproduce. They do not bother to find out if the fault is that of their son but all the blame is on the woman.
• It is common to hear the groom’s family members pressurizing the bride to give birth to many kids without even thinking of the financial capabilities of the couple. They will go to the extent of telling the bride that “…once a child is delivered, it is now a child for everyone”. Never fall for such bullshit because the moment you start seeking financial help is the moment they start abusing you.
• They do not believe that their sons should get married to educated ladies. According to them, educated ladies are hard knots to crack and would not tolerate their excesses. They know that educated ladies will not give them permission to get involved in their marital affairs. They want someone they can control and not someone who can control them.
• Marriage is considered an affair between a master and a subject. Most often it is the woman who is subjected to the husband. Your role in the marriage is to reproduce cook, and clean for the whole family. When it comes to decision-making within the family, the woman has no voice.

Nowadays, a lot has changed as concerned marriage. Traditions have developed and most families uphold to religious practices rather than traditional stereotypes.

However, I still witnessed some families clutched to traditional misconceptions of marriage. They still believed that the bride was a bride for the whole family. It is common nowadays to witness a traditional marriage ceremony where the groom is based abroad and the family arranges a wife for him and the brother or father of the groom acts as the husband. These are signs of families that still clutched to the belief that it is the bride of the whole family.

Many marriages are collapsing because of these misconceptions about marriage. This leaves me pondering 🤔, what happens to “…married happily ever after”? I am not against tradition but what I am advocating is that those bad aspects of tradition should be eradicated and embrace new cultures that make everyone valuable within the society. It is better to remain single than build a broken home.

Join me in the comment section and Share some of the misconceptions about marriage in your community.

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