Masculinity: A Harmful Gender Norm?

Society has greatly influenced the way men act in such a way that if a man act contrary to the behaviours expected from him, he is seen as “not being man enough, weakling, at times woman wrapper”. For instance during funeral celebrations, if women are running away from gun firing, a man is not supposed to run because you are man who supposed to be brave. Running away from gun firing means you are not brave enough.

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Violent behaviour in me is not something that happens in space, it develops from childhood, constructed over time and nurtured by cultural norms. During childhood, a child uses aggression, and violence to show distress, and emotions. Over time, as the child grows up with those character threats, the violent behaviour no longer portrays expression of distress or emotion but rather portraying power over others. This usually occurs especially when the man feels that his manhood is threatened. For instance, in my culture, a woman asking a man to cook makes the man to automatically feels that his manhood is threatened, thus he needs to act fast. The acting fast is that he needs to portray his bravery through physical violence, assault, bully, and verbal aggression.

Masculinity turn to portray negative effects when men start upholding negative ideas about being a man. That is upholding patriarchal codes which require men to be dominant. This is no longer a biological phenomenon but rather a socially constructed norm which can be deconstructed.

To deconstruct the harmful aspect of masculinity, we need to start addressing the issues from childhood. Our homes should be the start point to deconstruct negative masculinity.

Ways Parents can help to Deconstruct the narratives

• Parents need to educate their children about the negative outcomes of masculinity.
• Create safe, and healthy environments, and equally educate them on how to regulate their emotions.
• Parents should identify, and treat psychological problems in children caused by socialisation in gender roles at home.
• Healthy relationship skills be developed to help adolescents to decrease their acceptance of traditional gender role norms.
• Campaigns should be intensified to modify cultural, and social norms that promotes unhealthy behaviour in men that lead to violence.