MY COPING MECHANISM

See who made it today. I’ve had beautiful experiences in the past and I sure have had horrible ones. As I write this, I don’t feel like it and that’s because my mood is a bit off. But then that’s me. Always allowing my emotions to get a better hold of me and doing things only when I feel like it.

Source

I was sitting this morning reminiscing on what life has been in the past few months and my dear, it has been a rollercoaster of emotions with ups and lots of downs. Through it all, I discovered something (well not discovered but began to apply) that has helped me weather through my storm of emotions and has helped me get clarity while living a day at a time. What I learnt was to journal again. I began to document my feelings, the people who hurt me and the role I played in it. I was honest enough to state my mood but skipped the entire process of narrating how I felt and what caused it.

Funny enough I wanted to express myself but lost the key to the lock where I tucked away sad memories. Never could bring me to write about these bad memories. So I took another approach. I learnt to say my affirmations and pray for peace. For me, my peace and sanity of mind are paramount. Whatever tries to take my peace I learn to stifle and move on. Let me give you an insight into how this works, I could keep interacting with you but mentally and emotionally I’ve left. What you have left are my robotic movements and interactions.

I’ve learnt to care deeply for people. That’s like second nature to me. So I will most likely treat you as human irrespective of what has been done to me. I often can’t fathom why I do this. I feel the reason might be because of my name EBELE which practically means mercy.

Another thing is that whenever I pray, I ask for peace. That’s all that matters to me that’s all I want. With my peace of mind, I can weather through anything. Asides from that I learnt the act of gratitude. Turns out I have a lot of good things to be grateful for. I started doing this and I realized that it was easy to forget all the good happening to you just because a few things didn’t go your way.