You see it's all about the balance.
If you recall, in the one which both of us attended, we were kind of given dishes (but with a margin of decision) and it worked out perfectly fine. There was no added pressure. Only a slight planning as if what would be convenient for everyone.

The problem arises when there is too much of everything.
And at the same time, there are some people who are always opting for the easy way out. They would do little or no effort at their part to be a constructive part of the party. Hence, a little reminder is necessary sometimes to maintain the least possible quality.

Having said that, I still believe that no one should be forced. It is the collective effort and every one should play their part in a positive way.

Then as Chriddi said, the universe will take care of us:)

Balance, balance is the key my dear!